Too Late

21

Seventy-two hours was a purely sinful, exciting, chaotic, happy tears and old times.

Ma and the fam flew back to australia the day after levi and jess's wedding, Im currently sitting in the house that was my second home that has been remodel.

New Jersey was my home that I will never forget the people are family orientated, kind, loud and boisterous just like me the beautiful beaches, many things to do but the culture here living in a urban area I do miss the place but work is where my heart is.

The hallway is filled our arts and crafts in picture frames I run my finger over the black photo frame of lex, levi, leni and me smiling with oranges in our mouths at the beach, my hair is wet I'm tiny compared to the boys big built. The wall is like a time capsule, where we were happy and carefree but adulthood was inevitable, working, paying bills, being responsible for yourself the List goes on when you wish you can turn back time and tell your five year old self or ten year old self 'don't rush to grow up enjoy being young and carefree adulthood really sucks'.

I have always treated jojo like another mama, her family loved me as I loved them even jays family it was great feeling of belonging and a sense of family I love ma she had to fight papa's family for what papa left for us they couldn't touch my inheritance but her money they tried for years.

My eyes fall on our very first Christmas photo, ma and jojo got us kids matching red pyjamas with snow flakes printed all over them ma drove us to the mall to sit on Santa's chair at 8 in the morning to take photos then we got busted by the security and ran till our hearts bursts in our throats.

I walked slowly looking at the photos and art works when we were so young I scrunch my face I had drawled a heart with a arrow with levi and my initials inside the heart.

I should take this jojo wouldn't notice I thought to myself my fingers trail down two colourful pasta necklaces I made for jojo and Jay for Christmas one year.

I hear jojo call my name but my eyes land on a photo I thought I ripped up that year of levi hugging me from behind and I was looking up at him over my shoulders with so much effection, if you happen to walk pass and see this photo you'd think we were dating then.

"hey what's with the tear mischief?"

I look at jojo as I touch my cheek and felt the wetness on my finger.

"happy tears jojo they are happy tears"

I look up at her holding a big container in her hands she places it on her hip.

"baby I've known you since you were knee high to a grasshopper you can tell me"

Its too late.

"its this hall taking me back to memery lane"

"Oh honey cmon follow me"

And I do to see how much has changed and what they kept for an example the height chart on their kitchen door frame, gosh I was so short till I turned twelve.

She stands beside the dining table placing the container down she removes the lid and pulls out my eyes go wide like two white saucers .

"I don't know what happened between you and my son but I wish you knew you could of came to me"

She hands me my pa's very old and very colourful walk man, I click the button to open it and there is his mix music tape with the most ugliest headphones I have seen in my two grown hands, remembering levi would use it when I watched a chick flick in his room.

"this box has everything that belonged to you that I had found cleaning levi's room I didn't know what happened between you two, it was like he stopped living for months mischief not one or two I'm talking about just over a year his room became a rubbish tip"