Royal Blood ▪︎ Grey's Anatomy

episode seventy seven

"Jax?" Enora calls as she enters the apartment. Her eyes move around the room and fall on Jax. "JAX!?" She screams, rushing over to kneel by the couch. She holds her breath as she feels for a pulse on his neck, gasping alittle in relief as she feels a faint one. She taps his cheek. "Jax, open your eyes!" She demands, eyes scanning the tourniquet, syringe and vial. She sees 'hydromorphone' on the vial label and cusses. She rushes out to the jeep and grabs her first aid bag, hauling it inside with her. She thanks her step father for the inspiration; she keeps one in the jeep, the house, the minivan. Wherever she goes, she has one.

"Come on Jax, wake up for me." She fills a syringe with narcan and rolls him over some to get a better spot on his thigh. She then stabs the needle and plunger in, counting in her head. By the time she counts to 10, he's gasping awake, eyes bulging. "Jesus christ." She hangs her head in relief for a moment.

"F-fuck." He whispers.

Enora slaps his chest as she cries. "How fucking dare you!" She screams. "You coward!"

Jax grabs her arms and pulls her close as he lays slumped on the couch, eyes hooded. He holds her close as she gives in and hugs him tightly while sobbing. "I-its okay. I'm s-sorry." He whispers. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry!?" She sits back, tears streaming. "Sorry for what exactly because there's a lot you could be sorry for! Leaving me, breaking my heart, shattering my world, taking my kids from me, never giving me answers, trying to leave me again!" She snaps, sitting back on her heels.

Jax swallows hard. "All-all of it." He whispers, looking at the ceiling.

Enora hits his arm glaring. "Don't you fucking dare. What is going on!" She demands.

Jax looks over at her. "I'm living with the decision I made okay? It's not your problem how."

"Not my pro- Heck yeah it is!" She snaps, standing to pace. "You were my husband for 10 years Jackson. You are the father of my kids, you were my rock, the first man I loved. You're still one of my best friends. Yes it is my damn business!" She snaps.

"I left so it wasn't your business okay."

Enora freezes and looks at him, eyes wide. "Wh-what?"

Jax looks at her with cold eyes but it's easy to see he doesn't mean them. "I left you so that my business was no longer yours." He snaps, sitting up slowly. He cusses as he does, putting his heavy, aching head in his hands.

"You... you... you left me so..." she struggles to piece it together. "Are you... are you sick?" She demands in a whisper.

Jax sighs. "No. Not yet anyway." He leans back and looks at her. "It's only a matter of time... look at you." He shrugs small. "Thought it would be me but I knew it could be one of us."

"You left because you MIGHT get sick?" She demands, a mix of anger and hurt. Prominently anger.

Jax states at the coffee table. "In a nut shell..." He shrugs.

"I want answers, Jackson Andrews, before I take that dilaudid and end us both!" She snaps, shaking with anger and adrenaline. Fight or flight. She's either going to beat the shit out of him or do the same thing he did. Hide away and get high.

Jax takes a deep breath and looks at her. "My last checks were... okay." He shrugs small. "Not great but not bad. It kind of sent me spiralling. What about the kids? You? The family? You loved me so much that if anything did happen to me... well, you wouldn't be far behind me. And it was the same for me." He admits. His heart races as he talks. "Who would take care of the kids then? So I spiralled further. What would make this situation better? If we didn't love each other... so I tried so hard to find some reason not to love you but I couldn't. And-and I was out of options. I had to leave." He swallows hard and looks down.