After we watched tv for a while a message popped up on my phone saying 1 year ago today from snapchat memories.
I clicked on it wondering what the video was. It was a video of Me Dudeylo and my dad making a cake and the oven set on fire. My dad was laughing while trying to put the fire out as Dudeylo and Me was running around and laughing.
A tear dropped down my face as i laughed so everyone looked at me. "what?" Dudeylo says so i cry and laugh showing everyone the video. "ohh i remember that" Dudeylo says laughing to. I found many more funny videos with my dad and everyone was laughing so hard.
One of the videos was with me and my dad arguing with a lady in the shop.
My dad in the video: Carrying on talking crazy like that and ill get my daughter to slap you.
Me in the video: PERIOT
my dad again: PERIOT SIS ....P.E.R.I.O.T BITCH
Everyone was dying of laughter at the hand movement of my dad while he was talking. He looked so sassy and kind of reminded me of Notti , dd and ddot. I wish he was still alive. If he stayed home and didn't go to work he would be here today.
When i was thinking about my dad i realized something, whoever comes into my life either dies or leaves leaving me in pain and guilt. I dont need to loose anymore people especially dd, i need him.
A i was thinking i totally zoned out and everyone was talking but i was thinking too much that i couldn't hear. "OLIVIAAA" dd says waving his hand in my face. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him. "Yeah" i say as more tears ran down my face.
"i said are you good like 10 time" dd says cuddling with me. "i was thinking" i say as i wiped my tears and sniffled. "thinking about what" dd says but i didn't want to say anything because everyone was in the room.
"it don't matter" i say putting my head on dd's chest as he twirled my hair in his fingers. "sure?" he asks so i nod my head.
Soon everyone left my room so dd sat up and pulled me to his lap. "talk" he says. "about what" i say so he looks at me like im stupid. "you know what, what was you thinking bout, talk to me" he says so i look down and play with my hands.
"its like, everytime i meet someone they die or they leave" i say so he looks at me. "how many people do you know that have died" dd says so i think.
"well my dad, my unborn baby sister, x" i say so he pulled a face.
"who is x" dd says so i realized i shouldn't have said that since xxxTentacion never wanted people to know about our friendship to keep me safe from all his opps.
"oh shit i shouldn't have said that, but promise you won't tell anyone" i say so he says. "word 2 oy i wont tell" dd says throwing up oy making me chuckle.
"xxxTentacion, we were so close" i say crying. He looked shocked. "the last thing i said to him was i hate him" I say crying in his arms.
"why" dd says so i look up and wipe my tears. "we always got into arguments and we was arguing about something so stupid and x would always tell me alright bye i love you even if we was arguing and the last thing i told him was i hate him and he still said i love you bye and hung up" i say catching my breath.
"and then i got a call from x manager saying he got shot and i didn't think much of it like rapers get shot all the time but his manager messaged me saying he is dead" i say crying on dd.
"i told him i hate him and then he died" i say crying harshly. dd held me still in shock but at the same time he felt bad for me.
"look" i say showing him a picture of me and x that i pulled out the drawer. "he told me to keep our friendship a secret to protect me from his opps but now it don't really matter since he is dead" i say as dd looked at the picture of both our tongues out being goofy, dd smiled at the picture and gave it back to me.
"i had no idea im sorry ma" dd says but i hide the picture since i heard people coming upstairs.
