THE IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE

8 months ago (Fay) CHAPTER 9

It's been 4 weeks since I've last talked to Mason. I hate what I said to him, but I guess I was just some kind of protecting myself. I promised myself to never fall in love, because 'love' is just another poison of choice. A cruel poison created by the human nature.

I won't say, people doesn't profit from it. They do. For a little amount of time. And someday, it hits them. Because their poison will leave them behind. Just like that, you're in withdrawal, never getting back what the person you loved, has taken away from you.

They take a part of yourself, wich you'll never be able to gain back. What they left, is a broken heart with a missing piece.
And I do not want that for me. I've already lost a piece of myself when my parents decided to leave me behind, and the boy I thought who'd never leave.

But even though I hurt Mason, I can feel him watching me. Protecting me like he'd promised. He does it from a distance, never talking to me. Never touching me. But worst of all, I never see him. And I miss him. I really do. But I'm also scared. I fear that I'm just another of his games. A challenge that he desperately wants to win. I could never know, if what he does and says, he really means. But I don't think a person can pretend this good, not like this.

"You're mine to protect. Mine to take care of. It doesn't matter, if you want it or not. I will give it to you anyway." his voice and words haunt my dreams and thoughts. It feels like even though I'm not seeing him, Mason is the center of my mind.
"For the moment, you're mine." I sigh at the reminder, because I want to be his. But it would make me vulnerable. If he decides to leave me one day or another, I'm sure, I won't be able to come back to life again. This may sound a little dramatic and exaggerated, but I've lost the fight to live twice before. And I strongly believe, if he leaves me again, I'll be done. I won't be able to regain control of my life again. I would be too broken. Too far away.

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"Fay," my Mason whispers, I haven't seen him in three days now, so when he lightly shakes my shoulder to wake me up, I immediately wrap my arms around his neck. He closes his arms around me, and I finally feel like breathing again.

Even though he was away for only a few days, it felt like an eternity. I breath him in, smelling the comfort of his scent. I love how he smells, he smells like home. Like a place I'll always feel safe in. When we losen the embrace a little, to look at each other, my heart starts to race.

My heart seems to have a disturbance whenever Mason is near, lately. Because it won't work properly anymore, it starts to race whenever he touches or smiles at me. I've never felt this before, and am actually pretty worried about my heart. Am I sick? Is this some kind of disease?

"What are you doing here?" I whisper back, when our eyes meet. I love his eyes, they remind me of caramel, my favorite candy ever. It's almost midnight and Mason never comes this late. "I've missed you, Fay," he replies, making my heart flip in my chest "I came to see you."

I smile up at him, Mason was always a little taller than me, I hated it when we were little kids. But now that we're teenagers, I must admit, I like it. It makes me feel safer when I'm with him. "And you couldn't wait until tomorrow?" I mock. Dimples form on his face, making my heart squeeze. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with my heart?

Mason starts to tickle me, and I try to get away from his maddening hands. I'm laughing so hard, it hurts. "S-stop," I say through laughter, "It hurts." Mason stops tickling me, and I realize just how close he is. "Oh, yeah?" he rasps, his voice a little more hoarse than normal. "than why are you laughing, Fay?" And I swear my damned heart stops working.

What is happening to me? I swallow, all laughter gone. His gaze drops to my lips, and slowly makes their way back to my eyes. "Mason," my voice is barely audible. "I-" he shuts whatever I was about to say with his mouth clashing onto mine. I gasp in surprise, my belly building a tingling fire inside.

And then I close my eyes, giving in to the kiss. My very first kiss, with my favorite person on earth. When he pulls away from my mouth, we're both gasping like we'd just ran a whole mile. But when our eyes meet, all the fire inside my body starts to fade. Because the look on his face is devastating. Like something inside him is slowly eating him alive. "Fay," his raspy voice fills the air. "I have to go."

Tears sting in my eyes, and I see a little shimmer in his, too. I'm nodding my head in okay. Not able to form words. But when he finally leaves my room, I never thought he meant to go forever. But he never came back. Not after weeks. Not after months. Not after years.

I snap awake. The memories of mine and Mason's fourteen year old self slowly fading. Sweat sticks to my skin, and I go for a cold shower. Washing the sweat away. But my memories of him never seem to vanish. They are just as clear as they were when it happened.