THE IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE

6 months ago (Fay) CHAPTER 13

I'm not the one in control anymore. It's not that I was, since I saw Mason for the first time in thirteen years.
But I can't think. I can't act. I can't do anything without my mind drifting back to him. To that night.
How he touched me. The way he murmured things into my ear, that I can still hear in my dreams.

Mason drove me home after what he did to me. That was one week ago and he's texted me a little, ever since.
I swallow when I read the message he's send me minutes ago.

Mason: I can still taste you on my tongue, beautiful. I'm hungry for more.
My heart takes of speed at the memory how he tasted me on his fingers. It was hot. So fucking hot, that I'm sure I could have came a second time in a matter of seconds.

He wanted to see me, but I refused to meet him again. I'm still angry at him. It seems like I could never forgive him for leaving me.
My phone vibrates with another text.
Mason: Let me finally see you, Fay.

Do you know the adage "if he really wanted to, he would."? The thing is... I believe, he would come to see me. But he is just too fucking respectful. He understands that I need more time. So when I said to him, "I can't do this right now, Mason." he just nodded and said, "Everything you want, beautiful." even though I saw a shimmer of pain flash his caramel eyes.

Me: No.
I simply write, and he doesn't text me any further. I hate that I want him to. But I hate even more, that he's left me when I needed him, and he knew that I did.

                            ̃
It's after midnight when a loud knock sounds on my door. I was just ready to go to bed, but I guess that has to wait.
Is it Mandy? But when she was on the phone with me earlier, she said she'd sleep at her boyfriends place. So if Mandy didn't have another fight with him, it can't be her.

Oh god...what if? I swing the door open, and my worst assumption comes true.
Mason is standing as handsome as ever in front of me. His hand balled into a fist to knock on the door again, wich stops mid air when he sees me.

There's a thunder in his eyes that instantly fades, when his eyes meet mine.
"Fay." he say's like a prayer. Like I am his last hope.
And now that I study him clearer, I can tell he's drunk. His eyes are a little too heavy, his posture a little too sloppy.

"Mason," I say when he reaches for me, "what are you doing here?"
His arms are around my middle, making me gasp when he pulls my body flush against his.
His head is in my neck and he takes a deep breath. Like it's his very first breath in a long long time.

"I've missed you, Fay." Mason murmurs, the words sounding long and sloppy in his current state.
I've missed him, too. And just the comfort of his body pressed against mine, makes me feel a little more whole again.
"Why have you been drinking this much?" I ask, my voice muffled against his chest.

"To pretend." he replies in a hazy voice.
"What?" I ask, my brows furrowed in confusion. What is he pretending?
A loud sigh escapes his lips. "I can't have you, beautiful. You won't let me. You don't let me inside your heart, like you did when we were kids. You won't let me earn your trust back. But when I drink enough, I can finally pretend." he explains, leaving me still oblivious to whatever he's trying to tell me.

"Pretend what, Mason?" I feel like a child, asking too many questions.
His head leaves the crook of my neck, so he can look at me again.
He smiles. "That you are not only mine in my mind, but in reality too." I can only look at him in shock, my heart beating erratic at his confession.

"I love your eyes, Fay. Have I ever told you this? Their like a portal to my heart. I'm the only one who makes them live. Like we need to be together to feel alive. Like we belong together."

"Your eyes, Fay. They're finally living again." little Mason say's in my mind.
How can he say such things? Why is he saying these things? And why does it feels exactly like he'd described?

Suddenly uncontrollable anger overcomes me. He left me. He left me, when he knew I needed him. He left me, when he knew he was my person. My only anchor. The one I could lean on when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

"Then why?" I ask through clenched teeth, tears burning in my eyes. "Why did you leave me, Mason?"
He closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them again, determination is in his gaze.
"I had no choice, beautiful." he whispers and when I look at him in blankness, he continues, and questions I've had for years, finally receive some answers.