THE IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE

5 months ago (Fay) CHAPTER 22

My heart stops working for a second when I register his words properly.
I'm so shocked, I can only look at Mason with a slightly open mouth.
"Brother?" I rasp, my throat suddenly too dry. "What brother?"

His eyes meet mine, and I can see so much hurt in his, I swear I can practically feel the pain.
One blink. Two deep breaths. And then he say's something that gives me the most frightening chills.
"He died when I was seven."

Silence.

"But how? How..?" my voice is as confused as I must look like.
I mean, what the actual fuck?
Mason shakes his head in oblivion.

"I have no idea, Fay." I don't know if I can believe him, or if he's still trying to figure something out.
"Mason." I whisper. "Could it be possible that your brother is still alive?"

His gaze loses focus for a second, almost like he's floating in memories.
"I never saw his corpse." he says. And his voice is so blank and motoric that it sends a cold shiver down my spine.
"My parents where devastated over his death. I can't believe that all of this was just a blatant lie." but I can tell on the look on his face, that he doesn't believe his parents story anymore.

I take his face into my hands, my thumbs stroking his cheekbones in a slow, soothing rhythm.
This motion seems to bring him back to me, his eyes focus on mine again.
"Why would they lie about something like that?" I ask my thought out loud, probably asking the same question that's been on his mind since he started to figure out who the person behind all this could be.

"My parents loved Ryan with all their hearts." his voice is hoarse, almost broken. "The only reason why they would lie about something like that would be... to keep him safe." the last words are barely a whisper.

"How old was your brother then, and what did they tell you how he died?" I ask.
"He died because of a fever he had for days, when he was only fourteen years old."
I don't stop caressing his face. He closes his eyes for a few moments, as if he'd like to forget everything else but my touch.

"My parents didn't want me to see him, because he looked too 'sick'. They said they didn't want me to have him burned into my memory like this. That it would wane all the good ones." Mason say's the words with so much spit, that I think for a second he despises his parents for what they did. That he couldn't give his brother one last goodbye.

"What if they did tell you the story about Ryans death not to protect him, but you instead?" I whisper.
His eyes shoot to mine. "Why would you say that?" his voice sounds a little angry, now.
I sigh. "I don't know, Mason. Maybe because they figured that he's a dangerous person?"
He flinches. Fuck.

Mason turns away from me, hurt, as if I'd just slapped him.
"I'm sorry." I say in regret. "I shouldn't hav-"
"He was a KID, Fay. Why would his parents, MY parents send him away? He was their child." he snaps.

"HOW WOULD I KNOW!" I shout back. "I didn't fucking knew him. All I know is, that I was fucking assaulted today!" all the color drains from his face, and his eyes get dark with bloodlust. "And then you tell me, your brother used to say the words, that my attacker said to me. So what should I fucking think, Mason?"

He drives his fingers through his hair. Looking as frustrated as I feel.
His voice is calmer but exhausted when he speaks. "I just can't believe it, beautiful. He was my brother. I loved him. I mourned over his death." he takes a deep breath. "And now that there's a possibility that he is alive, I just can't fucking think."

"He was fucking dead for twenty years, Fay. Two fucking decades. I don't want him to be a fucking psychopath."
I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his neck.
Mason entwines me the moment I go on my tip toes. I bury my face in his neck and just breath him in.

He smells and feels like so much comfort to me. Like my own safe-place.
His nose brushes my throat and goosebumps spread all over the places his breath hits my skin.
One of his hands lays heavy on my back, right above my ass. The other hand is holding my head in place.

"I can't do this to you, Fay." he rasps.
My brows furrow in confusion at his statement. "What are you talking about?"

I can hear him loudly swallow. Then he pulls slightly away from me so we face each other again.
And Mason presses the most meaningful kiss to my lips. When he stops kissing me, we're both breathless.
Why did this kiss feel like a goodbye?

"I'm so sorry, beautiful." it's barely a broken whisper of his.
My eyes start to water and my head is shaking 'no'.

"You would be in too much danger around me." he tells me, his expression tortured. "I can't risk this, beautiful. Can't risk you."
"Stop!" I shout, not liking what he's on about.
Mason gives me a little smile of his. It's the first time I don't like it. "You were always it for me, Fay. My personal salvation." his gaze drops to my lips before connecting with my eyes again. "But I have to give you up to keep you safe. Because I am not your salvation. I would be your final ruin."

A tear leaves my eye. My heart squeezes in pain.
"Please, don't do this." I whisper.
"I have to, beautiful. It's the only possibility to safe you." his voice sounds so sad, it breaks my already weakened heart.

"That's bullshit!" I snap. "You don't fucking know what would keep me safe! I have something to say too! I can fucking look out for myself!"
He gives me a low, sad chuckle. "What about you don't liking me at all, beautiful?"

I don't like that he's joking now. It pisses me the fuck off.
Mason leans down to press a soft but lingering kiss on my forehead, and then he fucking turns to leave.

My voice fills the quiet room when I speak. "I swear if you walk out that door, Mason, I'll fucking hate you."
He stops in his tracks and turns his head slightly, only enough so I can see his side profile.
"It's better this way. Do what I could never do." his deep voice is rumbling through the apartment and then, Mason walks out of my door.

Leaving me once again. Like it's fucking nothing.
Silent tears fall down my face.

That's why I've never let 'love' come close to me. Because it's just another poison of choice.
But maybe Mason was the only poison ever for me. And if you're the sickness, there's no way in hell you can also be the cure.
Right?