THE IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE

(Mason) CHAPTER 46

The moment I lay my eyes on the bastard I've once called 'brother' I'm ready to see fucking blood.
I jump out of the bed, already grabbing for my gun when soft hands close around my own, stopping me from what I was about to do.
"Mason," she rasps, her eyes big with shock and something I can only describe as...shame. What the fuck? "I know him."
I look at her for a long moment, trying to understand her words. But they just don't make sense. Does she mean she knows him because Ryan came to see her when Fay was closed up? But not once in those weeks we're at the hospital has she told me anything about this. Never mentioned meeting my brother.
"What do you mean by that?" my voice is low, sounding dangerous and foreign, even to my own ears.
She swallows, then looks down to the hospital duvet. "He saved me."
I swear the earth stops moving around the sun for a few moments. What the fuck?
Her gaze meets mine again, desperately searching for words, but Ryan speaks up before Fay can say anything else.
"Mason, I'm not the one who's locked her up." My eyes shoot to his. They look so much like my own.
"Don't you dare lie in my fucking face, Ryan." I practically spit in his face.
God, looking at him is like gazing into a mirror from the future. Tall frame, caramel eyes, hazel brown hair, dark brows and a muscular body. His hair is a little longer than mine and his eyes look dull, as if he's seen so much he wishes to forget.
Ryan shakes his head, a sad smile turning to his features.
How many times have I wished that he wasn't dead? Have I prayed to have him back, but never believed could be possible?
And now I'm looking at my supposedly dead brother, feeling nothing but confusion, disbelief and hate. Why am I feeling such relief though too? He kidnapped my wife for gods sake! What the fuck is wrong with me?
I can't believe a single word out of his fucking mouth. He's a liar. A manipulator. A psychopath. My brother died, this person in front of me is just his spitting image.
"I know what you're thinking." he say's, voice calm. "I could always read you like an open book."
Ryan should stop talking before I pull the fucking trigger. Fay has gone completely still.
I look at her again. "Fay, what the fuck do you mean with 'he's saved you'?"
She winces. Fuck. My gaze softens, but I need her to fucking tell me. I'll lose it otherwise. I'm already fucking vibrating.
Her voice is hoarse and quiet when she speaks, but her eyes stay steady on mine. "I've tried suicide once."
I swear everything goes quiet hearing this. She tried to kill herself? Oh god, I would have fucking died myself.
"Why, beautiful?" I ask, my voice not more than a broken croak. "Why would you ever do that?"
She looks so sad, it's breaking my fucking heart. "Because I've lost all hope, Mason." she whispers.
"Hope in what?" I whisper back, hurting in the fucking inside. God, this is so painful. The thought of her fucking dead has my walls closing up on me, my throat tight and my heart stop pumping.
Fay's eyes blurry, she knows her next words could end me. I know they will. But I need her to tell me, need the truth. She knows that, so she tells me. "I've lost hope of you ever coming back to me. Lost hope in humanity. I couldn't feel anything anymore, everything was just so fucking...hollow."
I'm the reason, why she's nearly killed herself. The love of my fucking life has almost ended her life because I wasn't fucking there.
I will never forgive myself.
"When was this?" I rasp.
"ten years ago." she replies.
Fay moves the covers and slides closer to me, brushes my tears away I didn't even realize were falling. Then leans in and kisses my lips. I can taste both of our tears.
"I don't blame you, Mason." she whispers only for me to hear. "You did what you believed was best for me. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself for my weakness." she's holding my face in a caress, both hands on my cheeks, stroking over and over again my face.
I don't deserve her. But I need her like fucking oxygen.
Someone clears his throat, reminding me we are not alone. For a moment I simply ignore him, pretending he isn't here and study my beautiful Fay. She's looking at me with so much love, that it has my heart pounding like crazy.
"Guy's." he sighs, making us finally look at him. "Like I said, somebody wants you dead. And it is not me."
"If it's not you, than why or better how did they know words only you and I ever said?" I ask, my tone making clear, that I definitely don't believe a single word out of his lying mouth.
His brows furrow, as if he really has no fucking clue what the hell I'm talking about. And fuck, I almost believe him.
"What the hell?" he growls.
And then Fay says something. "Mandy has said your name, too. And the guards always asked this one question over and over again. 'Why has Mason never searched for his brother?' "
Ryan looks even more confused now. "Seems like somebody wants you to think very desperately that I am the villain." he makes a deep sound in his throat. "But I can promise you, I am not."
Ryan looks first me, then Fay deeply into the eyes, wanting us to see the truth in his words.
"Why did you make me believe that you're dead, Ryan?" I eventually ask. Because it's the one question I'm desperate to heart the answer to.
Almost ashamed he looks down to his feet's. "I was an addict, Mason." my shocked eyes meet his. He was only fourteen. "I stole drugs from some of the people our parents had a connection to." some? He sighs. "Eventually the people found out who stole the drugs," he shrugs his shoulders. "they would have killed me one way or another. When I told our parents, they freaked out. The thought of me dead had them losing their minds. So they came up with a solution; my fake sickness that lead to my death." there's a sad look in his eyes. "I hated to disappoint them, and they hated to lose me in any way. I had to leave, to make my 'supposed death' look believable." he sighs. "So I left. Hating to leave all of you behind. And I regret never telling you the truth, but I couldn't, Mason." my breaths are going fast and unfocused. "I needed to protect you without ever knowing the truth. And I hated it, I still do. And I'm so fucking sorry."
Fuck. I shouldn't, but I believe him with all my heart.
I can't speak, so Ryan continues. "I get it, if you don't believe me. And I also understand when you can never forgive me." a humorless laugh escapes his lips. "I'm not even sure I'd forgive myself."
The lump in my throat is killing me. What can I say to this? What is there to say?
"But I promise you, I never kidnapped Fay." his eyes are on mine the entire time. And that's when something in me snaps.
"I forgive you." I say, my tone promising and weirdly calm.
His shocked expression has me almost laughing. "What?" he croaks, and I let the smile I was holding show.
I shrug as if it would be nothing. "I forgive you, Ryan."
And fuck, I swear his eyes are shining with unshed tears.
I finally make my way to him, he stands there tense and unmoving.
I put my hand onto his shoulder and rasp, "It's good to have you finally back, brother."
And then his tears fall, and the next moment, he wraps his arms around me. Clinging onto me like he needs this more than anything. And I hold him, because I know what this feels like, and because I want to. I've missed him and am so fucking relieved he's not the cause for Fay's kidnapping.
But who the fuck was it then?