47. Elrond | Selfish Hearts

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 Selfish Hearts, Elrond x Fem!Reader,
Warnings: kinda angsty, kinda spicy, kinda fluffy/comforting
Word Count: ca. 1k
Summary: Elrond had convinced you to sail to Aman for your safety, but you decided you couldn't leave your beloved behind

***

It had been wrong; he had been wrong which was indeed as rare as a blue moon, hanging over the greatest of mountaintops, daring you to challenge the wonderful sight it provided. Your heart ached with the pain he had unknowingly and unwantedly bestowed upon you under the pretense of safety, bound by your promise to wait for him on the other side of the Sea, an oath he had practically dragged out of you through the sorrow of your tears and the tenderness that dwelled inside your heart which had been devoted to him and only him for as long as you could remember.

It was wrong.

He was wrong.

Your lungs screamed at you as they battled for air, your heart was near pounding outside your chest where no bone nor flesh could obscure its throbbing while your eyes could hardly contain the roaring waterfalls of tears wept by your aching soul.

You rushed to tell him how wrong he was, how unfair and unjust he had been despite his impeccable reasoning and unyielding need of keeping you safe; it had not been the right decision, not for him and most certainly not for you when your heart threatened to burst with the longing you'd feel for him and your soul all but starting to wither from the terrifying thought of being denied the nurture that was his voice.

Your breath hitched in the raw flesh of your burning throat as you stormed through the doors of his study and were met by a pair of grey eyes and the crease of a brow.

"Y/N?" Elrond's voice was a breathless surprise, yet his arms didn't fail to open in embrace as you ran into them; all the safety he could ever hope to provide you with was the moment when he pulled you close and held you tight against his chest where the even beating of his gentle heart was the only music your wretched being could ever wish to hear.

You breathed him in, long and hard, as if a part of you feared that you somehow might forget the earthly and musky scent of your love, while your lips surrendered to the unburdening sigh that relieved your weary spirit.

"You were wrong," you whispered against the crook of his neck as your body found itself clinging to his in a desperate attempt to never be torn apart again.

There was silence as your beloved's brilliant mind waged war against the desires of his own selfish heart, you knew Elrond well enough to suspect as much. You could only pray as fiercely as you ever had, vowing to pay any price no matter how costly and great as long as he would yield to your burning yearning to stay by his side regardless of the perils that loomed over the horizon.

"How can you fault me for wishing you out of harm's reach?" he murmured in that pained manner he was apt to employ whenever he submitted to his passions over the cool rationale of his intellect.

You felt his face dive into the ocean that was your hair as his arms held you even tighter lest you would suddenly change your mind about staying by his side; Eru knows he could never blame you when he had long ago vowed to forgive you all that you might do.

"As I was meant to love you, I was also meant to always keep you in my life," you reminded Elrond as you moved to look up at him where your eyes were met by his. The look of utmost sorrow washed over his ageless features, and you knew the battle was won; for someone who had always given you all that you had ever asked for, however small or insignificant it might have seemed to him, the Lord of Imladris wasn't about to deny you now especially when his own heart had fallen victim to his selfish need for you.

Elrond's hands went to gently cradle your face as his lips proceeded to tell you what his words couldn't – he would gladly bear the shameful guilt for not forcing you away as he should have done months ago, for in that guilt he had you, day in and day out, night after night you would remain by him, gifting his gaze with the sight that was your beauty and elegance, bestowing upon him the gift of the sweetest of melodies that was your laughter, as soothing and light as the windchimes that hung in the gardens.

He craved you like a man dying of thirst, hopelessly praying for water to soothe his painfully parched throat; he merely hungered for you like a ravenous man at an extravagant feast. His flesh and bones were laden with his unwavering ache for you; an agonizing need that could only be satisfied by your tender touch and your soft lips.

"You cannot stay, light of my life," he breathlessly pleaded with you as he came up for air before submerging himself again in the decadence that was the heated passion of your kiss, unbending and powerful as it was if it could make the Lord of Rivendell abandon all reason and will, and succumb to the promise that was you.

Elrond started forward, pressing you backwards until your back met with the cold wooden texture of the door and pressed it shut. He wasn't the Lord of Imladris when his arms moved to lift you up and his hands guided your legs to wrap around his waist – he was your husband expressing his undying need for his wife.

"Neither can I leave, my love," you breathed out as your husband's lips ventured past the corners of your mouth and down to your jaw before reaching the soft, sensitive skin on your neck; the effect of each kiss spreading like wildfire throughout your entire being as they hungrily demanded your sincere surrender.

You knew he had given up for good when he pressed against you, pinning you to the wooden door as his lips resurfaced to claim yours in a heated passion that outweighed all reason and rational thought and brought out the most primal and feral of drives.

His need for you.

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