Erebor, Lonely Mountain

50. Haldir | Runaway Love

Tumblr : mismaeve

Warnings: Slight angst but little of itWord Count: 1.3k

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"Imagine Haldir's reaction after you confess your feelings for him and he fails to say or do something before you think that he doesn't share your feelings and run off."

The birds chirped their spring songs in the golden trees high above you, filling your scenic afternoon walk with pleasant melodies. A great pity it was, your own anxiety preventing you from enjoying the nature around you, yet who could ever blame you for allowing your nerves to get the better of you when you had decided upon your waking this morn, that today was going to be the day at last when you would no longer hold your silence, and would bear your heart open to the one who had stolen it long ago.

"My lord Haldir," your voice was a tad mousier than you would have wished, his effect on you seeming stronger today as if to spite your timid soul.

"Yes, my lady?" the Marchwarden gazed down towards you, his pale blue eyes finding yours in an instant, a soft questioning look making his otherwise well-guarded features look almost boyish.

"May we sit for a moment?" you tore your eyes away from him, lest unwanted color would rise to your cheeks and make you appear to be the foolish girl you had always thought yourself to be.

"Of course," Haldir agreed softly and started you in the direction of the nearest bench.

Nearly hidden away entirely by the golden canopy of the trees that grew only in Lorien, you took your seats on the wooden bench, away from the rest of the world yet inevitably closer to the moment you had both dreaded and desperately longed for.

Your fingers became a fumbling tangle while your heart began a steady race inside your chest, trembling with every gentle breath you took in your silly hopes of calming yourself.

This was it, the moment was here. Wasn't this what you had been dreaming of since the first day your feet had stumbled onto the precious soil of Lothlorien and your eyes had gazed upon the fair elf for the very first time?

Long had his pale eyes and golden hair haunted your dreams, more so your waking hours when deep longing had seemed to be your only companion.

His kind offer to accompany you on your daily walks had only fed your desire to unburden the feelings your heart had been nurturing in painful secret. Could you truly afford to deny yourself this moment when knowing the regret of doing so would eat you alive?

A soft yet slightly calloused hand grasped yours with a feather-like tenderness you could hardly believe possible of someone as refined a warrior as the Marchwarden.

"What troubles you, my lady?" his spoken words were not shy of honest concern.

You took a deep breath and forced yourself to look at the ellon you had come to love so dearly.

"While I've been enjoying our friendship and treasuring the moments of your company, there is something I feel that I should confess," you started slowly, dragging the words from your mouth despite the growing fear in the pits of your stomach.

Haldir remained silent, waiting for you to go on in that silent patience you had come to admire.

You felt like your throat was closing up, dry and hoarse it seemed, unable or unwilling to voice your truth. You swallowed once and decided to put yourself out of this misery at once. No turning back now.

"I fear that for quite some time now, I have been...I've been thinking of you as in...," try as hard as you could, the words would not come out. The expectant blue eyes staring directly at you weren't helping either, only making you that much more flustered.

"What I want to say is that," you trailed off, still unable to find the words, cursing yourself for not having a single ounce of confidence to help you through this increasingly awkward scene.

Fool, you silly fool of a girl. Just spit it out already before he thinks you a dimwit.

"I fancy you."

Three words. Your confession rolled off your lips with about as much grace as a tumbling of rocks.

The relief you felt was short lived. Haldir's expression hardened, his pale eyes glazing over as if he was trying to distance himself from this naked display of emotion. To your growing horror, the Marchwarden withdrew his hand from yours and cleared his throat the same way he always did when something was annoying him.

You felt cold, his treatment of your precious heart freezing you to your very core, making you instantly feel sick while tears threatened to come at any moment.

Had it all been in your head? Him taking your hand, kissing it softly before tucking your arm underneath his own? The secret spark in his eyes whenever he saw you? His own tempered smile when your lips said his name.

Did I dream it?

"Forgive me," you mumbled while biting back your tears. You had done more than enough to make him uncomfortable, last thing you wanted was to force him to comfort you when you had, compelled by your own delusions, made an utter fool of yourself.

As quickly as your trembling legs would carry you, you fled the scene where your heart and soul had withered, and your dreams had fallen to their death.

Bitter tears pooled in your eyes while you tried to see straight enough to not trip over a fallen branch or a stray rock on your way back the same golden pathway you had taken earlier.

Your mind frantically cursing you for your stupidity of thinking someone as high ranked as the Marchwarden would ever waste a single thought of affection on someone lowly as yourself, you had failed to notice the footsteps behind you, wide strides getting closer and closer until finally firm fingers gripped your arm and jerked you around where you collided with something firm.

"What-," you had started but at the sight of the ellon who had so mercilessly crushed your dreams, your words died on your lips.

Haldir's pale eyes sparked with something you hadn't witnessed before. He looked fierce, his features as hard as ever but this time, a certain determination was written plain on an otherwise impenetrable façade. His hands steadied you before he, without uttering a single word, knelt down before you and took your cold hand in his warm one.

"I beg your forgiveness, my lady," he averted his eyes and was focusing all his attention to your clasped hands.

"My lack of an appropriate response has hurt you deeply, and for that I will never forgive myself. I can only hope that you can find it in your noble heart, to look past my shortcomings and accept my earnest explanation and my sincere apology."

"I am ashamed to admit that your confession, as longed for as it was, caught me off-guard. I had only dreamed of it in the sweetest of dreams, but never dared hope to hear it from your own lips."

His words pinned you to the ground, unable to move or even breathe while wide eyes stared at the crown of his golden head, unblinking and barely seeing the shimmering light dancing in his silken hair.

"Your confession was all I had yearned for, ever since I found you wandering along our boarders. You took my heart that night, and I was willing to let you have it for I selfishly hoped that one day you might offer me a piece of yours."

Haldir's eyes found yours then. You couldn't help but marvel and shudder at the same time at how vulnerable and naked he looked, his eyes all but begging you to accept his apology and gift him with your heart anew.

"My heart is yours, Haldir. It's always been yours," you whispered quietly lest you would startle him back to his usually guarded self. To your and most likely his own surprise his lips moved and Haldir offered you a genuine smile, warm and soft like the spring day around you.