Bittersweet Heart (Ominis Gaunt x James Sharp)

Forty anemones and a few petals

James aimlessly wandered the corridors, unable to return to the common room. He was terrified. He couldn't imagine actually doing such a thing.

He was the first person Ominis had confided in about the Cruciatus Curse, revealing the torment he endured at the hands of his own siblings. James knew that no one seemed willing to stop it, not even Ominis' parents.

Violence in any form had always been something Ominis vehemently opposed. Everything James had said and wanted to do went against Ominis' deeply held beliefs, making it unforgivable in his eyes. 

James looked down at his palms. How could people differ so much? His fingers were neither soft nor chill. He saw them all his life and never wanted to think about them more than once a week when it is time to cut nails. He definitely couldn't call them beautiful.

He felt a twinge of guilt. The truth was, despite the horror of the situation, he found an unsettling thrill within himself.

Waiting for the castle to fall silent, James waited for the cover of darkness to return to the dorm without drawing unwanted attention.

***

It was clear that things couldn't be pleasant with Ominis from now on. Unexpectedly for James, Ominis was still talking with him as if nothing happened but made a deliberate effort to keep his physical distance.

Even during Professor Garlick's class, when they were paired up, Ominis made sure to avoid even the slightest touch. It felt absurd.

As the lesson came to an end, James leaned toward him and whispered, "Undercroft. In ten minutes. Please."

The Undercroft lay shrouded in deep darkness. The sign that it had been abandoned for quite some time. James lit the candles, that were left from the last meeting.

In the corner, a faint glow revealed the gobstone board. James couldn't recall having seen it in ages. Sebastian had stashed it away along with their collection of cherished items stockpiled over the years.

They used to play gobstones when Anne was here. She was unbeatable. In fact, they were so maniacally involved in the game, that even kept a table with matches and results.

James' friend Poppy from Hufflepuff then revealed to him a secret passage to the kitchen. He smiled at the memories of them sneaking to pilfer some desserts. He had even managed to convince Ominis to join in the mischievous escapades.

However, as their gobstone matches boosted, the Undercroft had gradually transformed into a mess. Wrappers, crumbs, and discarded pits were strewn about haphazardly. It was a disaster.

"James?"

He didn't notice how Ominis entered the hall. "It's been a while since we were here," James uttered.

 "I was. But I would guess you didn't call me here for sentimental reasons."

With a sigh, James slowly lowered himself to sit beneath one of the stone columns.

"Ominis, I'm sorry for that scene earlier. I know I shouldn't have pressured you. I will try not to lose control in the future. But I'm trying to understand — over and over again — what needs to be done to bring you back. And I can't find a way."

Ominis moved to sit near the opposite column, resting his head against it.

Between them lay a distance of two outstretched arms. That's about a hundred marbles. Sixty bites of an apple. Or forty pink anemones with a handful of torn petals.

It seemed peculiar to think about it in such terms. The distance was close, and yet it also felt as if the very foundations of the hall might split apart, and a towering mountain could emerge within that mere span of two arms.

"I thought about your words. And-...You were right," Ominis spoke softly, his voice tapering off into a whisper. "I suppose I was overly comfortable in your presence that I started to take it for granted one day. That was never how I wanted to treat you."

James felt his heart melt as he was watching Ominis nervously tugging at the sleeve of his robe. A small and endearing gesture he often resorted to when feeling uneasy. He gazed up at Ominis' face.

"There is light all around you. Your hair shimmers in the torchlight, like pure gold. It's... almost enough to make me cry."

Ominis stood up, leaving his wand behind.

James reached out, his hand touching the tips of Ominis' fingers, a silent plea. Ominis towered over him, illuminated by the dancing flames, his presence breathtaking. His fingers gently found their way to James' face. Closing his eyes, James allowed the touch to explore his features.

"I cannot remember the last time I looked at you like that. Please tell me if it makes you uncomfortable. I will stop."

"I don't want you to forget me, so you should look at me more often." On a hunch, James pressed his lips against Ominis' fingers as they were exploring his showing smile. 

Glassy wings tickled the skin.

If you want to capture a butterfly, you have to stop breathing.