Bittersweet Heart (Ominis Gaunt x James Sharp)

Loyalty

James was awakened by the clanging of the kettle, its sound echoing in his head. The sun was starting to draw its arch from one side of the sky to another.

"Herbal or yellow?"

"Whatever," James' voice hoarse. The chair was not meant for sleeping. As he got up, a sharp pain shot through his back, just above his coccyx.

"Had a good walk?"

James headed towards the staircase; he needed to change his clothes. His current ones smelled terrible, unsurprisingly, given how much he had strayed here and there last night.

"When I ask questions, I expect to receive answers."

James stopped, halfway turned, with his feet still on the foremost stair, "Was it meant to be a question that required an answer?" he replied. "If so, then yes, I had a pleasant time."

"What made you do that?" Aesop continued pouring tea into two cups, the flower buds now open and drifting airily in the pot.

"You."

"Why?"

"Why? Like you care." James scoffed.

"And what gave you the idea that I could not care?"

This steadfast calmness infuriated James. The time when he wanted to be more like Father has sunk into oblivion.

"Let me place a question. Are you even alive? I mean, Merlin!" James chuckled. "Do you hear yourself when you speak?"

Aesop put the pot down with a loud clang.

"Choose your next words wisely."

"No, answer me. What is wrong with you? Why are you trying to be more like a father than you've been in the past years?" James choked on the words, his tone gradually getting louder. "I don't need your protection anymore. Neither your advice nor affection."

"While you are living in this house, you will drop this behaviour," Aesop cut him off abruptly. "Your life, as comfortable as it is, could not exist without my work. Has there ever been a time when you didn't receive what you needed?"

"Thank you very much for providing me with a roof, food and all that should have been provided anyway. But what I needed was a father." To James' satisfaction, a hint of wrath crept into his fathers' eyes. "All right, I get it. You lost the love of your life. But she was my mother. I lost her as well. Ever thought about that? And you-" he didn't even attempt to choose his words. "You had me. But instead, you chose that work of yours. And I'm not sure if you still have me anymore."

When James spoke it aloud, it shocked him. How could he have never noticed that before? The exact same thing. The exact same thing had been done to him. First by his father, then by the people he considered family. While he could understand Sebastian's decision, he couldn't comprehend Ominis'. Why? Why hadn't he stayed with him and Anne?

Father's voice pulled him out of the depths of his thoughts.

"I will repeat this one last time. While you are here, you'll abide by the rules. You cannot vanish all night. And don't even try to feed me that 'leaving home' nonsense. I did not raise a fool. You understand you have no other place to go."

James' lungs greedily gasped for air. He despised this wounding feeling as if he were merely a beast confronted by a heavily armed hunter. You could bare your fangs and unleash a fearsome roar, but it paled in comparison to the power wielded by the handler.

***

When the voices downstairs finally calmed down, loud stomping went up the stairs. It ceased just before entering the room. Ominis pretended to be asleep. He wasn't ready to face another storm.