adoration: part two

sixteen

May 14th Phoenix, AZ

"Thank you so much Phoenix, it's been a pleasure to stay here and to sing for you all this evening. I'm very excited to announce my new album will be coming out on June 20th!" I announced as the show in Phoenix was over.

As I came off of the stage I entered my dressing room toilet closing the door behind me quickly, as I fell to my knees and threw up into the toilet. I can't believe that the stress has gotten so bad it had actually gotten the point of throwing up. Maybe, though, I'd  start to feel better after announcing the new album date.

"Melody." Isa hesitantly said standing out from the door, She and Carlos had come to my show due to the break between races for Easter.

I wiped my mouth with the corner of my sleeve and rinsed water from the tap in my mouth after flushing the toilet "Coming."

I came out from the bathroom and sat on the sofa wiping my glistening forehead, my physicality has never been brilliant, but I always thought that by the middle of tour id be better with the process.

Carlos spoke up first as he looked over my face "Are you alright?"

I nodded slowly "Yeah, I think I'm just stressing over the shows, it's normal don't worry."

Isa sighed "We know you aren't talking to Max, he told us in Miami. Why aren't you responding to his texts?"

Because he isn't nice to Charles.

"I don't know I'm just busy- seriously it'd nothing against him-

Isa rolled her eyes "No Mel I'm not having that sad excuse, you look a mess, I love you dearly but you are pale as hell and you have been sick almost everyday from May according to the dancers so tell me what the hell is going on."

"Nothing is going on, I'm just not very well and texting is so much effort these days." I tried to explain but they weren't buying it at all, especially as I respond to Isa within seconds.

"I'm taking you to the doctors melody. Have you been taking your medication?" She quizzed.

"Jesus Christ Isa I'm not a baby of course I've been taking my meds. I don't need my doctor the second I look pale, relax." I sniped annoyingly.

"Sorry I fucking care about you." Isa replied  crossing her arms in a huff, Carlos stroking her arm gently "You just look exhausted."

"No I'm sorry Isa I know you just say it because you care but honestly it's okay, I'm doing okay anyway." I reassured them downing a water bottle.

Carlos sighed "It just doesn't look like it. And the lack of responding to Max? That's just not typical of you."

"I understand."

"So why haven't you talked to him? I mean you haven't spoken to him since your birthday and you didn't seem best pleased with him then." Isa pushed forward for me to say something.

"I wasn't best pleased with him." I shrugged looking through my tour wardrobe, pulling on a hoodie over my costume.

I was wearing a baby blue corset top and a silver skirt, I hadn't actually worn any blue yet this tour so the crowd were lapping it up.

"It was blatant. I mean the tension between Charles and Max even whilst you were performing was crazy so I assume you're annoyed at max for how he was treating Charles." Isa gathered and Carlos nodded encouragingly with her.

"Bingo. Well done." I sarcastically spoke clapping my hands slowly to emphasise.

"Charles felt awful like he fucked up your birthday." Carlos added.

"And I would say he did." Isa replied to him.

Isa was not a fan of Charles, not anymore, not one bit. After the breakup she still had some respect for him, but after the whole Monaco fiasco where I left his house in floods of tears he's not her favourite person.

"I don't know-

"No he did, max had every right to be annoyed at him I mean he cheated on his sister! And then he went and took his fucking championship away-

Knocking at the door interrupted her "Melody! It's Elliot are you decent?"

I sighed "Yeah."

He opened the door immediately entering and sitting down in the chair not bothering to greet Isa or Carlos "So your voice incredible. Energy though you need to work on it. The dancing is just off."

Isa and Carlos remained silent as I continued to listen "I think you look great, I mean the fans love it and you know that. But from the labels point of view we don't take anything but exceptional, and that wasn't exceptional."

I held my head in my hands "Look I'm giving it everything I've got, I've been dancing six hours a day and singing the other eighteen. What do you want from me?"

He sighed "Just more."

What's worse is I knew isa agreed.

"How? I'm fucking willing to do everything because at the end of the day I'm doing this for them, I want to be enough for them. How am I supposed to go about that Elliot? Because you keep telling me but if I'm not told how it's just a vicious cycle." I argued taking my hair and brushing out the ends with a random brush I found on the table.

"You know how melody, I will see you before the flight to Dallas." He said standing up to leave, not awaiting for me to respond to him.

I know what he is referring too.
The fucking pills

Before or in between every show Elliot has been giving me these suspicious little pills, two of them. I don't know what they do but they make my head spin and I get far more panicky.

But seemingly they improve my energy, and that's all the label care about, That I come across excitable and sociable and that's exactly what those idiotic pills do.

I used to take them during all the shows but haven't fancied it after Chicago, I'm convinced they're the reason I fucked it all up and I don't want to risk another show failure.

And by show failure I mean a meltdown on the stage mid song and the lack of sleep, Doctor Léas sleeping medication didn't even work when I was on those pills.

And I have no clue what they are.

"What does he mean you know how?" Carlos asked voicing his thoughts confused.

I shook my head "I don't know."

————————————————————————
Melody (may 3rd )
How come you aren't responding? Are you okay?

Melody (may 5th)
What have I done???

Melody (may 5th)
I miss you

Melody (may 6th)
Did my brother say something to make you leave again? Charles please respond.

Melody (may 8th)
I need you

Melody (may 9th)
And I thought you'd change, you just wanted me to invite your family to a show and now you fucking ghost me. thanks.

Melody (may 11th)
you don't even know how much I just want to talk to you sometimes.