adoration: part two

nineteen

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melody_verstappen:

hello everyone, these passing weeks have been truly traumatic. as many of you are aware the murder of one of my friends occurred at my show in dallas, his name was Luke jones and I wish his family so much love and warmth at such a heartbreaking time. I didn't know Luke for very long but he was one of the kindest, warmest and purest humans you could ever meet. why do such tragedy's happen to the ones who deserve only goodness? as an investigation is still occurring my team and I all ask for privacy as we try to recover from this horrific incident, due to this I have to cancel my tour, anyone who had bought tickets will be refunded immediately and I am truly sorry but I am not willing to put anyone else at risk.
i am so so so sorry luke , i would do anything to have you here today.

thank you.

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"Charles?" I spoke quietly into the phone.

"Fuck melody," he says on a sigh. "It's so good to hear your voice. It's such a fucking beautiful voice."

I wanted to laugh, but something was holding me back as I waited for him to say more. He's silent for a moment until I hear him take a deep inhale and curse under his breathe "I can't stay away from you anymore- I can't ignore it."

"You've seen the news? Finally thought maybe you should call or text?" I sniffled rubbing my nose slightly.

I had been living in Monaco whilst the police were interrogating in Dallas, it wasn't safe to go back to my LA house either so I'd been staying with Isa and Carlos.

"Mel... I am so fucking heartbroken for you. When I saw the headlines I thought- I thought someone hurt you." He gulped, sounding genuinely concerned.

They did hurt me, mentally.

"No," I paused "But they should've, they fucking should've, they killed him Charles- they killed Luke and it's my fault." I sobbed into the phone trying to wipe my ever flowing tears.

He shuddered "No Mel.. no don't say that. I thought I had everything but I can't live without you my love, life isn't worth living if you aren't in it. Stop saying that."

My sob continued "But you have been living life without me Charles- I haven't heard from you since my birthday. Why does it take some fucking tragic event for you to reach out and swoop in like a hero? I fucking can't deal Charles."

He thought for a moment "The way Max was scolding me made me realise I'm not good enough for you, I have never been and I thought I was making it better for you by ending it."

"Charles I-

"I can't do it," he whispers. I can't be with some.. anyone else, and that fuck... fucking sucks. I used to think I had it all. And I did but then I didn't. Did I? I didn't have you. You would be having it all. Having all of you." He's rambling, I don't interrupt him to question him.

"I tried to move on melody. I did, but even just speaking to another girl makes me feel sick. Fuck. Why can't I move on? Please, please tell me why?...or maybe I need you to tell me to move on."

"Charles it's-

"No stop that, my hearts racing so hard. Because I'm finally talking to you, because I have finally got the balls to talk to you." He mumbled down the phone, "Melody you make my life worth living, never ever forget that."

My sobbing was no longer manageable, "Charles, I stopped talking to Max because I was so fucking mad at him that he treated you that way- deep down I still love you."