Monasterio Series 8: Nights in Casa Vallejo

Chapter 41

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Chapter 41

Until now that I'm jailed inside his embrace, despite him assuring me that he's still in love with me, I still can't believe that we're really alright and sitting beside each other.

Ang hirap paniwalaan. Dalawang taon akong nangulila sa mga yakap at halik niya. Hindi na rin ako umasa pang babalik kami sa dati oras na magkita kami. I was expecting to welcome his anger for me when we saw each other again.

Sa aming dalawa, ako lang ang lubos na mayroong pagkakamali. Pinangunahan ako ng takot sa kung ano mang iisipin niya sa akin oras na malaman niya ang sitwasyon ko. I did not trust him enough. I was a coward. I badly wanted to please him that it led me to hurting him.

"How are the twins, Terrence?" I asked.

The side of my head was leaning against his shoulder. We were sitting on the couch. His hand snaked around my small waist.

Hindi ko maiwasan makaramdam ng pangliliit sa sarili. Over the past few years that we're apart, I saw how it made him more attractive and handsome. Kung mayroon pa siyang igugwapo, iyon na 'yon.

Meanwhile, I looked worst. Uglier than ever. Can't even look at myself in the mirror.

"I always tell them about you. Palagi ko rin ipinapakita sa kanila ang litrato mo. Alexadre is just like Lolo Zion. He's serious and stiff. Katulad naman ni Mama si Alexene."

Malungkot akong ngumiti. "When did they learn to walk and talk?"

"Before they hit the first age."

"Can I see them on the picture?"

Hindi sumagot si Terrence. Kinuha niya ang cell phone mula sa bulsa ng pantalon niya. Napatingin ako roon hanggang sa iabot niya ito sa akin.

A smile slowly crept on my lips when I saw the twins sitting on some garder. Hindi ko maiwasan ang makaramdam ng kirot sa puso ko kasabay ng pag-iinit ng aking mga mata matapos masilayan ang mga anak namin.

Alexene was smiling. Si Alexandre ay masiyadong seryoso. Noong una ay kamukha ni Mama Tate si Alexene ngunit ngayong kulang tatlong taon nito ay kamukhang kamukha ko na.

"They grew up fine, Terrence." I whispered between in between my sobs.

"I made sure they still have my attention despite being engaged with work. Nariyan rin naman ang mga magulang natin para gabayan ako."

Lalong naghilam ang luha sa mga mata ko. Hearing those words from him only made me realize that it's not only me who did sacrifices. Maging siya rin ay sinikap ang palakihin ang mga bata kahit pa walang sariling katuwang. It should be my responsibility to take care of them but my cowardness turned them all down.

Huminga ako nang malalim at marahang ibinalik sa kaniya ang cell phone niya. He took it and placed it on the space beside him.

"Pasensiya ka na at kinailangan mo palakihin ang mga anak natin nang wala ako." sabi ko.

He sighed and hugged me even tighter. "One of the reasons why I can't get mad at you is because I know you've been dealing with more serious and hard situation. Naiinis lang ako na imbes na idamay mo ako ay mas pinili mo pa ang layuan ako."

"Siguro ay dahil sa pinalaki akong hindi umaasa sa ibang tao. I grew up having the kind of mindset that I can solve any problem because I'm strong. I have the power and money. Ano nga ba ang hindi ko magagawang harapin?" malungkot akong natawa. "Ikaw, Terrence. Ikaw ang kahinaan ko. Nag-aalala akong balang araw, sa klase ng sitwasyon na mayroon ako ay pagsawaan mo ako at sukuan."