Carlos was what his mother would call a worry ward he would obsess over stuff and it consumed him
Carlos was never super open with his feelings despite his longing encouragement for others to open up to him
He would always assure them that he was safe and that he was an open ear whenever he needed it
Tk always let Carlos know that if he ever wanted to talk about something that was bothering him that his door was always open and that he would always make time
That he didn't have to bottle up his emotions and he assured him that even if he didn't want to talk about it that he could just feel-
That door was always open so why did it feel so hard for Carlos to even fathom talking to Tk about him emotions that have now led him to be where he was now on the floor in the corner of their bedroom spiraling Tk's hand on his knee his other hand holding Carlos's
The night went like any other Tk wasn't feeling great he hasn't been most of the time Tk hadn't felt normal in a while he was still losing weight , puking all the time , and he had the shakes along with the very long list of symptoms from the chemo
But despite that Tk made an effort to sit through their movie night but in the back of Carlos's head it always lingered
What if he woke up and Tk was gone -
What if the cancer doesn't work -
What if Tk dies -
But he made sure to give a smile and show Tk a good time despite him feeling like shit
Bed came as Tk grew tired as the movie approached its end
So they ventured off to the bedroom brushed their teeth then went to bed
But the thoughts that had been haunting him had never left -
The line on the monitor went flat Tk's body laid their dead -
Carlos jumped in bed he gasped for air as it felt like someone had their hand around him lungs he couldn't get enough his heart was going into auto drive he hadn't even noticed Tk was looking at him with concern " baby hey -."Tk said trying to take carlos's hands into his own but Carlos shyed away from the touch
Fuck why did he do that -
Tk was trying to help him and he pulled away -
Why would he do that -
He paced around the room desperately trying to catch his breath
" baby listen to me for a second okay ?" Tk says
"Your okay you need to slow down your breathing.." Tk said
" I can't - ." Carlos said tears swelling in his eyes
"Baby you can -" Tk said
" I can't loose you !" Carlos said as the tears flooded his cheeks
Carlos backed himself into the corner his leg shaking anxiously as he slides to the ground
Tk joined him on the floor
"I'm gonna touch you okay -" Tk said rubbing Carlos's leg
"I'm here I'm alive ." Tk said taking Carlos's hands
"Carlos I need you to breath with me okay ." Tk said putting his palm on Carlos's chest
" deep breath in ." Tk said " deep breath out ." Tk continued to do that exercise with Carlos until he had calmed down but that didn't stop Carlos from crying
" I'm here I'll always be here ." Tk said holding Carlos's hands " if and when you ready we can talk ." Tk said
"I'm afraid of losing you ." Carlos broke the silence " Carlos I'm gonna be fine you know that ." Tk said
" no I don't everyday I have to see you in so much pain you can barley eat Tk -." Carlos said
" those are just side effects okay ? I'm dealing ." Tk said softly
" that's the thing - I don't want you to deal I want you to get better get your life back I want to cook for you again-" Carlos said
" and you will just a few more months okay ?" Tk said
"Yeah.." Carlos said as Tk wiped away his tears
" I think you should consider a Therapist.." Tk said softly " and before you say anything you can always talk to me anytime you need me - but maybe you'd benefit" Tk said as Carlos cut him off "okay"
YOU ARE READING
The Great War - A Tarlos Love story
Fanfiction"Life is unpredictable and control is just an illusion. And it makes us feel small and powerless." But when control becomes to much people get hurt It turned into something bigger Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed Your finger on...
