Trigger warning : there is mentions of suicide ,death, self harm
Nobody every talks about the morning after an attempt - how everything feels so wrong, how guilty you feel , how the days seem to drag making getting through one day ten times harder
Tk didn't even want to wake up -
He was starting all over again - his sobriety was gone he was back at day one all over agin he had been up since 6 mindlessly watching Carlos sleep
It calmed him he had put Carlos through hell since they met he didn't understand why Carlos was still with him
Now it was 8 o'clock approaching 9 and Carlos was just waking up he turned to face Tk bringing his hand to Tk's check stroking it gently " how long have you been up ?" Carlos asked looking into Tk's green eyes Carlos always loved Tk's eyes they showed so much emotion yet now they were showing no emotion Tk looked empty
"Not long .." Tk lied he didn't want Carlos to worry more he didn't even want Carlos to have to deal with him Carlos deserved better and Tk knew that which is why he couldn't understand why he stayed
"You sure you still look kinda tired ? We can sleep for a little longer if you want .." Carlos's said his hand playing with Tk's bed hair "why are you still here ." Tk asked the question that had been roaming his mind for hours "Ty -" Carlos said
"I need you to be honest with me Carlos .." Carlos said softly " why are you still with me is it because of Maya ?" Tk asked getting out of bed " you can tell me the truth I'm not gonna go run off and try to kill myself again ." Tk said walking around their room "your gonna work yourself into a panic attack if you don't stop pacing ." Carlos said now sitting up in bed
"Tell me ." Tk said looking at Carlos " I'm with you because I love you . Because when I'm with you I'm happy ." Carlos said " and no I'm not with you because of Maya - I'm upset that you felt you even needed to ask me that ." Carlos said
"I'm a fuck up -" Tk said " I come in and I fuck up everything why do you want that in your life ." Tk asked
"I don't know who your talking about because your not a fuck up Tk - my life before I was depressed living felt like a chore I felt like I wasn't enough for my parents like I messed up everything." Carlos said " I wouldn't even talk to people other than my inner circle and I saw you-" Carlos said letting out a little chuckle " you were doing your little dorky paramedic stuff ..and could tell that we were meant to be even if it took us a little to get there .." Carlos said softly
"And yesterday I'm so glad you picked up because of you didn't - my other half it would be gone your a miracle Tyler Kennedy Strand my miracle and I'm sorry I didn't know how bad you were hurting .." Carlos said looking at Tk " I need you to let me love you ." Carlos said getting up to hug Tk " let me love you ." Carlos said softly as Tk wrapped his arms around Tk's waist picking him up Tk wrapping his legs around Carlos's waist burring his head into the crook of Carlos's neck
Carlos Carried him to the bed where Tk stayed buried in Carlos's neck "we're gonna get you hell okay ?" Carlos said rubbing Tk's back Tk gave a small nod "I'm sorry I scared you ." Tk said Carlos could feel the tears landing on his neck " I love you okay ..." Carlos said softly
YOU ARE READING
The Great War - A Tarlos Love story
Fanfiction"Life is unpredictable and control is just an illusion. And it makes us feel small and powerless." But when control becomes to much people get hurt It turned into something bigger Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed Your finger on...
