Tw/ parental death/self-harm/mentions of suicide
Grief
A feeling that now was Tk's best friend
A feeling that consumed him
The anxiety raced through tks body as he awaited an update on his father's condition "Babe." Carlos said rubbing Tk's leg "Don't tell me im overreacting." Tk said silently "You not overreacting I just - I don't want you to feel so anxious.." Carlos said "I can't lose another parent Carlos I can't -" Tk said, "It's gonna be okay ." Carlos said
Deep down he wanted to believe it himself but he knew what Owen was nearing the end and lying to Tk about it was even worse
"Family of Owen Strand ." the doctor called Tk standing up immediately "How is he ?" tk asked nervously "he's stable right now but it's a long road ahead for him .." the doctor said
"I do need to discuss a serious matter with you though ... is he okay to be around for This?" The doctor asked gesturing to Carlos "he's my fiancé ." Tk said "It appears your father was Re- diagnosed with cancer 11 months ago .." the doctor said "What -" Tk said clearly in shock " I know it's a lot to process I do however need to know if he was receiving the proper treatment for his condition.." the doctor said
" he didn't want treatment -" Carlos broke the silence causing Tk to look at him confused
He could talk to Tk later but this secret was kept for him to love "what ?" Tk said his eyes watering it broke Carlos's heart to see him like this
" I'll come out in a little with an update ." The doctor said
"You knew he was sick ?" Tk asked looking at Carlos but when Carlos didn't respond that's when Tk started crying "How long ?" Tk said "How long have you known .." Tk said "A little over three months ..." Carlos answered " Tk-" Carlos said, " I think you should go - " Tk said quietly " Tk don't do this don't - don't shut me out ." Carlos said, "Maya gets done school soon she should have one of us home.." Tk said wiping his tears "Love you" Tk said before walking away
Carlos knew he shouldn't have left but he could tell Tk needed his space and that if he didn't have it he would spiral
When Carlos woke up in the morning he saw the kitchen light peeking through the door to the bedroom
When he opened the door he saw Tk sitting at the counter "You're home ." Carlos said letting a sigh of relief out as he walked to the counter " I'm sorry about everything okay ?" Carlos said softly
"I'm not mad at you .. you don't have to apologize.." Tk said hanging his head
"Are you okay ?" Carlos asked "How's your dad I was thinking later we could take Maya and she could-" Carlos said softly as Tk looked up at him revealing his tear-streaked face " he passed this morning .." Tk said, " I'm gonna go lay down.." Tk said wiping his tears away
Tk had lost the only parent he had left -
The only member of his original family that he had left -
Tk lay there snapping the rubber band to his wrist over and over and over again over and over until the rubber band snapped
The bedroom door slid open and closed "Daddy?" Maya called softly Tk wiped his tears quickly before sitting up "Hey sweetheart? You okay ?" Tk said looking at Maya "How's Grandpa?" She asked "Hey sweetheart.. come here I wanna talk to you about something okay .." Tk said softly
Tk picked Maya up and sat her up in the bed holding both of her hands Tk brushed her hair out of her face with his fingers "Remember when I told you that grandpa used to be sick with cancer ." Tk said softly running his thumb over her hands " bad cancer ." Maya said " yeah ." Tk said letting out a little chuckle
"Well grandpa got sick again a little while ago .." Tk said " that's why daddy was at the hospital last night with grandpa .." Tk said softly his eyes watering " why aren't you with grandpa?" Maya asked " sweetheart grandpa passed this morning while you were asleep..." Tk said a tear rolling down his face he saw that Carlos was standing at the door watching "did he go in pain ?" Maya asked looking at Tk "no bug the nice doctors helped him now he's in heaven .." Tk said as the tears started following from his eyes "you had cancer .. does that mean your gonna go be with grandpa ?" Maya said as a few tears rolled down his face
"Daddy's in remission sweetheart he's gonna be okay ." Carlos said joining the two on the bed " so when will I see grandpa again ?" Maya asked as Tk wiped her tears " when you go to heaven angel .." Carlos said softly "why does daddy look so sad ?" Maya asked "he just misses grandpa .." Carlos said rubbing Tk's back
Later that night Tk colored with Maya at the kitchen table while Carlos made dinner " you okay ?" Carlos asked as Tk came to set the table while Maya put away her coloring materials " yeah - I'm just gonna skip dinner tonight .." Tk said quietly "Ty .. you can't starve yourself ." Carlos said softly " I'm not I'm just not very hungry .." Tk said " I'm gonna go take a shower okay ?" Tk said softly before kissing Carlos's cheek
"If you need me call me okay ?" Carlos said softly Tk paused for a minute " promise me Tk ." Carlos said " I'll be okay.." Tk said giving Carlos a small smile
Tk knew Carlos was there for him - and Tk wasn't mad at him for not telling him his father was sick but he was upset
And right now Tk wanted to feel his grief he didn't care anymore
He turned the faucet to the shower on so Carlos would think Tk was showering if he happened to come to the bathroom and he locked the door he cowered in the corner with his kit
The kit which had many blood covered razors the kit which made him feel better he slid down his pants to his knees before taking the blade to his thigh the sting -
It hurt so bad yet made him feel so good
The blood trickled down his thigh but Tk didn't care he just kept cutting
When he felt weak he closed his kit up before getting into the shower
His cuts burned at the water hit them Tk shyer away
He had to shower or Carlos would be worried
Tk got out of the shower getting dressed before unlocking the door Seeing Carlos on the bed waiting so long " did she go down easy ?" Tk asked quietly as he towel dried his hair
"Yeah pretty easy .. figured that we needed some time alone I haven't gotten much time to ask you how your holding up .." Carlos said walking into the bathroom "I don't really wanna talk if that's okay .." Tk said getting his uniform out of the closet when Carlos came out holding Tk's kit " Tk .. you said you would tell me if you needed help .." Carlos said tears forming in his eyes " I didn't do anything that was from a few weeks ago ..." Tk said softly " then why is their drops of blood in the bathroom ." Carlos said
" it's none of your business." Tk said closing the closet " yes it is Tk it's you I need to know what's going on ." Carlos said softly " I thought it was the same way around .. but that wasn't true either .." Tk said "I apologized Tk I'm sorry I kept it a secret he wanted you to be happy we didn't want to jeopardize your recovery .." Carlos said softly " don't even - don't bring my recovery into it ." Tk said softly
" I was just trying to help .." Carlos said " he was the last person I had left !" Tk said starting to cry " the last parent I had left Carlos ." Tk said biting his nails "what was I supposed to do .. it was either that or relapse on opioids .." Tk said pacing around the room
" you could have come to me Tk .. I'm here and you just neglect that ." Carlos said "you keep shutting me out.." Carlos said " and it's not fair to me ." Carlos said " you know what's not fair ?" Tk said " knowing my dad was sick and was going to die and not telling me .." Tk said " I have a shift tomorrow .. I should get to bed .." Tk said grabbing a pillow " Tk please -" Carlos said softly
"Im sorry .. I love you ." Tk said wiping his tears before kissing Carlos's cheek
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