Every Tick of Serendipity ( Ruler of Fate Series #3 )

KABANATA 40

Kabanata 40

The fortieth tick

We stayed like that, exchanging each other's breaths, feeling the warmth of our skin, and letting the tension crawl because of our proximity. The tears from my eyes are still falling, but all we could do was stare at each other's lips.

Umiwas ako ng tingin sakanya nang ilapit niya pa ang mukha niya sa'kin. He was about to kiss me, and I know that. So, before my mind crashed again because of him, I turned my head sideways.

"Why did you leave me?" My voice broke because of that question. It took all my confidence just to ask him that on-going thought I have had inside my mind for the past few years.

Randam ko ang bawat segundo: ang ikot, daloy, at tunog na binabitawan ng orasan na siyang kumukontrol sa bawat tibok ng puso ko. From the wall, I could see it clearly.

I heard him sigh before he rested his forehead on my shoulder. "I had to..."

My forehead creased. "N-No... You don't have to. We were fi—"

"We were not." He answered, which not only cut me off but left me dumbfounded.

A minute was enough to shatter me again.

My lips quivered. "T-That's why we tried, right? That's what matters n-naman, so how—"

"That's just it. Sumubok lang tayo."

"That's just it..?" Pahina nang pahina kong tanong sakanya. "Why?" Nagsimula nanamang lumabo ang paligid sa paningin ko. Mas lumala 'yon nang silipin ko siya.

How can he look so calm while he is torturing me with his words? And how can I still admire him despite that?

"Y-You never felt that our relationship was real? And not just because of some deal? G-Gano'n ba? Na—"

"The only thing I felt real was your touch." Putol niya ulit sa'kin.

"S-Stop saying those sweet words to me... Stop lying." I shook my head repeatedly. Tumayo ako na nagpa-alis ng pagkakasandal niya sa balikat ko, at maging ang rabbit na pinapanood kaming dalawa mula sa aking mga hita ay tumalon pababa sa sahig.

"How does my touch become your reality when all this t-time... Y-You had a plan to leave. Then, t-that just means you want an escape... A-A break free from what was going on." Mariin kong bulong habang marahas na pinupunasan ang mga mata ko.

He was scared... And even though we were together, he was still afraid of us — our relationship.

I was about to walk away, but he held my hand and dragged me back into his arms. Parehas na kaming nakatayo habang yapos niya ang buong bewang at ang balikat ko.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin dahil do'n. Kahit gustong-gusto ng sumuko ng katawan ko dahil sa panghihina, ay hindi ako nagpatinag. I started pushing him away, but he stayed, like I wasn't doing anything.

"I maybe lying..." My teeth gritted in anger. "But I will surely hate you for real when the time comes. I will hate you so much." Puno nang diin kong sinabi habang nakatitig nang masinsinan sa mga mata niya. "And when that happens, I will leave and will never step foot closer to where you are."

His lips parted.

My nails dug into his chest when I clenched on his shirt. "I swear to you... Kairos, Zach, or whomever you are right now."

He sighed before giving me a small smile. "Then I'll be chasing you. Once you decide to take a step away, I'll be taking two steps ahead. Kapag gusto mong lumayo, mas lalo akong lalapit. I'll do the risking this time."