Every Tick of Serendipity ( Ruler of Fate Series #3 )

KABANATA 55

Kabanata 55

The final tick

Out of all the hundred sins that he committed against his own family, there was one thing that I hadn't expected to happen back then. What he has done has turned everything upside down, not only for us but for you as well, Amber. It ruined everything from the start; it affected our relationship and how you see yourself as a woman. Sa ilang taon na nawala'y ako sa piling mo, pumasok sa aking isipan ang lahat ng 'yon — at napatunayan ko nang sa wakas ay nagkita na ulit tayo.

All of it... From my mother's every-day torment, combining with my torture, and him... Selling another person who shares the same blood as us was the cause of my split personality — what resulted in me losing my insanity and that someone he abandoned.

My eyes widened because of that. Paulit-ulit kong binasa ang mga salitang na 'yon, thinking that I read it wrong, but no. Just like what I first saw, all the words remained the way they were. He's really talking about someone, and I'm not even sure if we already met once.

He gave him away to another family in exchange for money. He sold them to a married couple who couldn't manage to bore a child back then — my older brother... And you know what that makes us? What has he forcefully removed from our lives? Our memory..?

I gasped quietly before I covered my mouth with my hand. Nothing... None at all were making sense inside me. I was left dumbfounded.

Doing that took a piece of my life and my mother's soul, Amber. It was something I wish I never knew in the first place — an experience I hope I never encountered. Parang pinagbuhol-buhol ang buhay ko simula nang araw na 'yon. It felt like I was being played and forced to be a puppet by all of them. What he did killed my mother inside, planted a criminal out of my brother, and shaped me to survive in nowhere.

It's hurting me so much... His words were like the pain itself that's circulating inside me. I couldn't help myself but to cry silently for him.

My mother was a fool in love to the extent of sacrificing her sons, but I forgive her for that. I choose to let go of that fact. Now, about my brother, I can say that I never really once blamed him for anything — for what he did to me too. Sa hindi niya pagpapakilala, sa pagdiin niya ng mga krimeng sa mga kamay niya nanggaling simula palang nung una, at ang pagbaril niya sa'kin hindi kalaunan.

My eyes widened even more after I realized what he had written.

Bumaril.. The one who shot him... It wasn't only his therapist..?

Slowly, the trembling on both of my hands started to scatter around my whole body. Unti-unting dumaan sa bawat pulso, balat, at balahibo ko ang mga 'yon. I was staring at it for how many seconds already, but I couldn't bring myself to move on to the next paragraph he wrote.

It was an eerie feeling for me. And if it weren't for Ace, who started showering me with some kisses on my head and caresses on my arms, I felt like the longer the seconds went on, that feeling would swallow me whole.

Mariin akong pumikit at umiling bago dahan-dahang tinignan ang kasunod na mga salita.

I'm a hypocrite if I'm going to deny that I wasn't affected by my brother for all of that, because I was. Pero ilang taon ko rin bago naisip 'yon — na hindi ko naman talaga siya kailanman sinisi at tanging galit ang ang naramdaman ko. But it was too late... It was too late for me to fix that — us. Sa sobrang pagkamuhi ay nagawa ko na siyang ipakulong sa bilangguan. I took matters into my own hands after leaving you without a word, Amber. At ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko noon: ang pait sa mga nangyari sa'kin at ang kagustuhang protektahan ka ay doon palang tunay na nag-umpisa. Lahat-lahat ng maling pinaramdam ko sa'yo at ang mga naging dahilan at puno't dulo para magawa ko sa'yo ang mga 'yon ang tanging nasa isip ko magmula ng araw na 'yon.