Wild Nights, Hot And Crazy Days

Part 1.10: Understanding and Forgiving

As soon as the door closed behind him the tears started. I don't know how long I cried, but it was a good, long time. It was well after dark and was getting quite cold inside the carriage house when the door opened. I looked up, half hoping to see Aiden but still not feeling any disappointment when I saw Carman and Bryon standing there.

"You OK?" Bryon asked.

I wiped my tears away and said "Uh huh".

Carman looked carefully at me. "No, you're not. Come into the house, it's getting cold out here."

I followed them into the house. Betty was in the living room reading. Aiden and his mother were nowhere to be seen. They led me down into the rec-room and sat down. This time I didn't look around at anything. Nothing interested me anymore. Bryon gestured for me to sit down across from them, so I did.

"So", Bryon said. "How are you doing?"

"Fine", I lied.

Once again, Carman was looking at me. "No, you're not. You're obviously hurt. What did you guys talk about out there, if you don't mind me asking?"

I looked back and forth between them, considering what I should tell them. Then it all came out. I told them everything Aiden had said. At some point in the story I started crying. I'm not sure when, but I was certainly crying when I finished telling it. I stared off at the stereo system we had listened to earlier. God, that felt like ages ago. Could it really have been just this morning? Bryon and Carman remained silent while I gathered myself up. Finally I had the crying under control, so I turned and looked at them again.

"Wow", said Carman.

"Yeah", said Bryon. "I can't believe he did that. He really cared about you."

Alarmed, I looked at Carman. He gave a weak smile and said "Relax, he knows all about you. He was there when I told Aiden's mother about you, and even if he hadn't been, I'm sure she would have told him. They are engaged, after all."

"Oh", I said, still looking at Bryon with suspicion. Then it clicked. "Oh! Wait, you got engaged?"

Bryon beamed. "Yep. Asked her a week ago. We don't have any plans set yet, but we're getting married! Probably next spring. Not the one that's coming, the one after that."

"That's excellent! Congratulations!" I said.

"Yes, yes, thanks. That's all good. But this isn't about that. We need to talk about you and Aiden."

Suddenly I was whipped back to reality. "There is no 'Me and Aiden', at least not anymore. I don't know what to say."

"Well", Carman said. "How do you feel about what happened?"

A surge of anger flashed into my mind. I wanted to shout "HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!?!?"

Instead, I stayed silent and considered. As I considered I calmed down and started thinking reasonably.

"I... I think I understand. I'm sad, but I think I know why he's doing this."

"Explain", Carman said.

I thought about it. "Well, at first I was angry, then I was really sad. I thought he was being stupid and selfish, that he just didn't give a damn about how I felt. But the more I thought about it the more I thought that maybe this is what he really needs, you know?"

"No, we don't know. Tell us", Bryon said.

"Well, it's hard to say why. I just think that maybe he needs to put everything else aside and be there for his mom, and that maybe he doesn't need anything or anyone hanging around making it harder for him to do."