Follow Carmen, a young and deeply closeted gay teenager as he navigates the 1980's and 1990's yearning for love and trying to find where he fits in.
This story is rated M because it contains elements of death (including children), homophobia, religi...
***CONTENT WARNING: THIS EPISODE DEPICTS THE SUICIDE OF A MAJOR CHARACTER AND MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME READERS. IT IS NOT MY INTENTION TO GLORIFY OR EXCUSE SUICIDE.
IF YOU OR SOMEBODY YOU KNOW IS EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR EXHIBITING SUICIDAL BEHAVIOUR SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY.
PLEASE.
THIS. REALLY. HAPPENED. I CANNOT STRESS THIS FACT ENOUGH.
THERE IS NO "UNDO" BUTTON HERE. DERRICK IS GONE AND IS NEVER COMING BACK.
IT WAS DIFFICULT TO LIVE THROUGH YEARS AGO, IT WAS DIFFICULT TO WRITE ABOUT IT IN 2022, AND IT WAS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO ILLUSTRATE IT WHILE AT THE SAME TIME KEEPING IT TASTEFUL AND RESPECTFUL. HOWEVER, THIS WAS A PART OF MY LIFE, A MAJOR ONE, AND IT WOULD DO NOBODY ANY FAVOURS TO ERASE DERRICK FROM THE STORY OR LIE ABOUT HIS END.
WITH THAT SAID, PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
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When I got home I showed the newspaper article to Troy, and went to the computer to see if there was any news. As expected, James messaged me straight away asking if I'd heard anything. I said no, and then I opened a message from Quique.
Quique: I've been waiting all day for you to come online. I have to tell you something very important. You're the only one I trust enough to tell this to. Please don't say anything in open channel, and don't say anything to James or Mel. Or anyone, for that matter..
Asterixx: What's wrong?
Quique: Promise me. Not a word to anyone. People could get in big trouble.
Asterixx: Ok, I promise. Troy is here reading this, though. Is that OK?
Quique: Yes, Troy is OK.
Quique: Carmen, they are not going to find Derrick.
Asterixx: What? What do you mean?
Quique: He's dead, Carmen. He killed himself.
Troy gasped. I choked down a sob.
Asterixx: What? How? How do you know this?
Quique: He jumped off the MacDonald Bridge on Saturday night.
I felt like somebody pulled all of my insides out. I didn't know what to say, but I had to say something.
Asterixx: Are you sure? How do you even know this?
Quique: Yes, I'm sure. Remember when I said that my father works for the bridge commission? He told me. The police came in requesting to see video footage of the sidewalks that night. Apparently it was clear as a bell: He ran along the sidewalk until he got to the middle, then climbed the barrier and jumped. It was over in the blink of an eye.
