Follow Carmen, a young and deeply closeted gay teenager as he navigates the 1980's and 1990's yearning for love and trying to find where he fits in.
This story is rated M because it contains elements of death (including children), homophobia, religi...
THE FOLLOWING CHAPTERS DEPICT THE DEATH OF A MAJOR CHARACTER. THIS MAY BE TROUBLING FOR SOME READERS. WITHOUT GIVING SPOILERS, THE CHAPTER AFTER THIS ONE ACTUALLY DESCRIBES THE METHOD OF DEATH, WHICH WILL BE VERY DISTURBING. ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS A TRUE STORY, AND TRUE STORIES ARE SOMETIMES DISTURBING. IF SUCH THINGS BOTHER YOU I WOULD ADVISE THAT YOU SKIP THIS CHAPTER AND THE NEXT ONE.***
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Note: This is a scan of the actual newspaper clipping. Two people went missing that night, though the cases were unrelated. I still have this piece of paper, all these years later. Names have been changed because I changed every name that I could not contact the actual person before writing this story. Because of this, the names have been blacked out in this image. The article was cropped short to eliminate details of the other missing man.
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Having finally confessed our love to each other my life was now almost perfect. Every day we found another reason to love each other, and we were getting along splendidly. I had not had a depressing thought in ages. Everything was perfect, except for one big thing: I was still leading a secret, double life. As much as I loved Troy, I was still keeping him a secret from my family. They knew him, of course, but they didn't know how much he meant to me. They thought that I was still single, and as such were still trying to set me up with girls they knew. Troy thought this was hilarious, but I just felt bad about hiding him away like I was doing. I loved him more than anything in the world and wanted to shout it from the roof tops, but instead I was putting on a big act. I was tiring of it.
"I want to tell them", I said to Troy one day, after leaving my parents' place after a Sunday dinner.
"Tell them what?"
"About us. About you. About me."
"Why so eager all of the sudden?"
"It's not sudden, I've been thinking about it for ages. I'm tired of hiding, and I'm tired of lying. It's not fair to you for me to hide my love for you. Every time I say the word 'Roommate' I feel like I'm betraying you."
"That's crazy. You're not betraying me at all."
"Ok, maybe not betraying, but it must seem like I'm ashamed of you. You know I'm not. It's more like I'm ashamed of myself. But I'm not quite that either, not anymore. I'm proud of how far I've come and I'm proud to have you. It's just... I dunno, I want to tell them but don't know how to."
"I see. Well, you know that I'll support you whatever you do, but you don't have to force it. When the right moment comes along you'll know."
"Yeah... Thanks. I just hope I don't lose everyone."
"You really think they'd abandon you?"
"I don't know. I really don't know. But I'm at the point in my life where I want to accept the risk. I have to."
