Wild Nights, Hot And Crazy Days

Part 7.4: The return of Rodney

"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you that blind? Carmen, that whole bar was all over you! Jesus, I've never seen anybody get flirted with so much! You could've gotten laid a hundred times over tonight! You could've taken your pick, whatever you're into, it was there and it was into you!"

"What? No they weren't!"

James was still laughing. "Oh. My. God. You don't even know what flirting is, do you? You really don't know how to flirt!"

"Carmen", Derrick said. "Believe me. Every one of those dudes wanted you. I can't believe you didn't pick up on that! Holy crap, they did everything except whip their cocks out and start slapping you with them!"

I felt like an idiot. "Really? Why didn't they just say so?"

James was finally finished laughing, though he was still giggling a bit. "Are you serious? What, you think guys are just going to come up to you and say "Hey, stranger, wanna fuck?"

Mel spoke up for the first time. "That one always works for me!"

"Oh my God Mel shut up! That's because everyone knows you're a slut!" James started laughing hysterically again.

"Both of you shut up!", Derrick said. "Seriously, Carmen, you need to learn how to flirt. And you need to learn how to recognize flirting. If you go there acting all serious like a statue you're going to scare people away."

I was suddenly thinking about my missed opportunity with Arnold, back in trade school. I hadn't recognized his flirting, and I had missed out. "How would I even learn how to flirt? I'm new to all of this!"

Mel said "Remember me asking you to slam fuck me? That was flirting. The offer's still on the table, by the way... OW! Quit it!"

Derrick had thrown a grape at him. "Quiet, you! This is serious! Ok, we can't really teach you how to flirt, but we can tell you some of the signals guys will give you when they're flirting with you...."

We spent the next few hours talking about flirting. They gave me several pointers, and I was eager to learn. At some point I glanced out the window. "Hey, what a beautiful... Holy fuck, the sun's up! What time is it?"

"Oh, about 6:30AM."

"Jesus, I've got to get going! I've never been out all night before."

"Oh, Sunshine, you really are new to this, aren't you?" Mel said with a smile.

"Yeah, I think that's been established. I really do have to be going, though. I'll talk to you guys on IRC."

James asked "Oh? Will you not be coming out with us again?"

"Oh yes, I had an absolute ball. I will definitely be doing this again. See you later."

I drove home, pulled all of the blinds closed, and went to bed. At first I had trouble sleeping, I was thinking about the night I had just experienced. I had spent the entire evening surrounded by gay people of all stripes, and I truly had a good time. For the entire evening I did not think about my depression, and I did not think about hiding. I was finally being me.

Of course, now that I was back in the real world I would have to be me in secret, but I was a step closer to coming out. I slept most of the day, and as soon as I woke up I parked myself in front of the computer. When I joined #gay_halifax I was inundated with messages from people who were happy to have finally met me, congratulating me for finally stepping out into public. I was glad to have them, and I was especially glad to be able to picture their faces when I saw their nicknames. Not all of them, of course, but most. Among those messaging me was Derrick, known as 'Blue on IRC.