Follow Carmen, a young and deeply closeted gay teenager as he navigates the 1980's and 1990's yearning for love and trying to find where he fits in.
This story is rated M because it contains elements of death (including children), homophobia, religi...
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"God, you really do suck at flirting, don't you? This..." he said as he leaned forward and kissed me. I did not protest, so he pulled me into a full embrace and started kissing more aggressively. For the first few moments I was shocked, but the smell of alcohol on him caused me to get my wits back and I pulled away.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
"Something I should have done a long time ago. I really like you, Carmen."
"Derrick, you're drunk."
"No I'm not. I've only got a little bit of a buzz on. I had a few drinks before going out, and you know exactly when I got to the bar, I only had one drink there. We left right after. I mean it, Carmen. I've liked you from the first time I met you. There's something different about you. Something good. You're so different from all of the other guys I know."
"What do you mean, different? Like weird or something?"
"No! Well, yes, but in a good way. You're the weirdest guy I know. You're gay, but you're not gay. You don't like the dance music, you don't drink, you don't dance, you don't like partying, any of that. I don't even think you really like the bar, you just go to get out."
"That doesn't sound very good to me. Sounds more like I'm boring..."
"No, you're not boring! You're anything but boring! You're just so refreshingly different than what I'm used to being around. You've got, I don't know, substance or something. Everyone I know seems hollow, but you are solid to the core. You're also incredibly hot, though you don't even seem to know it. Now, come here..."
"But James..."
"What about James? It's over between us. You already know that. He's leaving for LA, and he's leaving me behind. And even if he wasn't, you saw him tonight with Angus. Do you think that's the first time he's done that? Do you think they stopped at kissing? They're probably fucking each other in the parking lot behind the bar right now."
He was right, of course. I shouldn't feel like I was betraying James's friendship, because James was, at this very moment, fucking around with Angus somewhere. Also, the way he looked at Derrick and me before going back to Angus was almost like permission. I let Derrick pull me inside the apartment. As soon as the door closed behind me he was on me like a buck rutting on a doe.
I willingly received his affection: It had been a long time for me, and I really liked Derrick. As we kissed we explored each others bodies with our hands, and I was liking very much what I was finding. Derrick dragged me into the bedroom and started stripping the clothes off me, and I was enjoying every second of it. I was stripping him off too, and when we were both naked he took my hand and led me to the bed. We laid down and started making out. As our naked bodies caressed each other I was nearly delirious with passion... until I noticed a picture on the dresser of James and Derrick together. I felt like James was staring at me. I pulled away from Derrick.
