The Boyfriend (The Camgirl Part 3)

Part XL: Fighting A Dragon

XL: Blake

"So, Blake...you visited your father between this session and our last one, right?"

Blake took a deep breath and nodded, making herself meet doctor Cardaso's eyes.

"Yeah. I did what you suggested and talked to him about the house and the money..."

She trailed off with a sigh, chest tightening.

"I still--" she started, then paused for a moment, swallowing before she forced out the words.

"I still don't want the money, but I know it's the smarter thing to do."

"Would talking more about that help? Or does it make you feel like you're not being heard when you talk about that with other people and just give you reasons why you should take the money?"

Blake shook her head.

"No, talking about it is a good idea."

Her therapist smiled, making a note on her pad.

"Well, if you don't mind sharing the details, what's your current income level? Compare it to minimum wage if that helps."

Blake smiled just a bit.

"It's actually not bad. I make enough to support myself and buy my textbooks and any groceries or incidentals that I need, and I'll be able to pay down my student loans a bit more aggressively than most people once those start up."

She frowned, taking a deep breath, "But I know that this isn't as stable as a nine to five, and having to pay for my own health insurance definitely impacts it more than I thought."

"Is that what you and your father talked about?"

Blake shrugged, "A little bit. We talked about the health insurance, travel expenses if I wanted to go anywhere--or if I wanted to come visit him more often like I said I did. Which I do. He also said that the money would help me afford the house if I wanted to live there."

She paused, frowning, "I don't, but I know my roommates probably won't want to live in the same place we do now once we're done with school, so i'll need to find a new place to live. Either by myself or with other roommates."

Or with Liam, she added silently.

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, and her cheeks felt a bit hot as she thought about the possibility of that.

That's years away though, who knows if we'll still be together then.

Blake hoped they would.

She squeezed her fists tight at her side.

That's why I'm doing this, she told herself.

Not just for him, but so something like that doesn't seem so impossible. So that even if things don't work out for whatever reason, I can make sure that it's not because I'm the one sabotaging us or holding anything back.

"Blake?"

Blake blinked up at the therapist, then realized she'd been silent for a while. She didn't know if the doctor had said anything else.

"Sorry," she said, cheeks burning even hotter as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, glancing down at the floor for a moment.

When she looked back at Dr. Cardaso, the woman was smiling.

"Don't apologize," she said, "What were you thinking about?"

Blake's initial reaction was to just deflect, but she knew that that wouldn't help here, and that the doctor would be able to know what she was doing. She also didn't like that that was her initial reaction, so she paused for a moment, met the doctor's gaze, and made the words come out.