The Boyfriend (The Camgirl Part 3)

Part LVII: Stop Wasting Your Time

Blake

Despite the hours that had passed, Blake still felt like her heart was racing. It wasn't, but that didn't mean she didn't freak out every few minutes, and raise her fingers to her neck to check her pulse.

As she walked through security at the prison, going through the motions as she always did, she made sure to take deep measured breaths, but without looking like anything was wrong. She didn't want the guards to think that anything was wrong or get suspicious, or think that she was nervous, all over nothing.

It wasn't nothing. It was the reason her dad was locked in this place when it wasn't his fault. He was not what people said he was. What this place said he was.

But for now, it had to be nothing, she wouldn't let her dad think about that. She wouldn't let him worry about her like he would if she mentioned it.

When Blake did see her dad, that same pang of guilt and sadness tugged at her heart like it always did, but this time she felt a little bit better, a little bit more relaxed, too. He had that effect on her.

He smiled when he saw her, and as she sat down at the table after getting some snacks, they fell into talking like they usually did, not really talking about anything in particular, but just enjoying each other's company. Once they finished their snacks though, Blake's dad's expression turned serious, and Blake found herself frowning again.

"Dad? What's wrong?"

He smiled again, but Blake could tell it was forced.

"I love seeing you kiddo, and I really love talking to you, but..."

He looked down for a moment, sighing, then met her gaze again, "I need you to stop driving all the way out here. We're doing it so often, at least. You've gotta have better things to do then waste your time driving out here, and I know that the gas has got to be more expensive than the phone call would be."

Blake blinked, shocked for a moment, then clenched her fist, the Cheetos bag crinkling against her palm.

"Why would you ever say that to me? I love you. I didn't see you pretty much at all over the summer, and I can't see you while I'm at school. I know grandma and grandpa can't visit as much as they would like, so someone has to see you."

Blake's dad arched an eyebrow, "So, are you driving out all this way so often because you love me and you need to see me, or because you pity me and you just want me to be seeing someone that's not wearing a guard uniform or jumpsuit?"

A lump formed in Blake's throat.

She couldn't speak, because she knew she'd be lying to her dad and herself. And she couldn't do that. Not to him, at least.

Her dad let out a breath, "I know this is hard, kiddo. I know you love me, and I love you too. That's why I want you to stop wasting your time with me. I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to be here for a while, it's not great, but I've made my peace with it. Or, at least I had made my peace with it until I realize I might be holding you down."

Blake blinked, wide eyed, but earlier anger was gone. Her voice was small when she spoke.

"You're not holding me down."

"Kiddo, you're brilliant. Far smarter than your parents and far smarter than my parents or your mom's. You told me you had some programming project you were working on. Shouldn't you be working on that instead of visiting me, or instead of driving out to see me? Or, you know, having fun and enjoying the college part of your life? I never did that, so you have to go crazy for both of us."

He smiled, and that got a little bit of a laugh out of Blake even as her eyes grew hot.

"I come here for me, too," she said, after a while, "I guess a bit of what you said earlier is right, but... sometimes I just need to see you. Life is shitty sometimes, and talking on the phone helped but..."

Her dad sighed as she trailed off, "It's just not the same."

Blake shook her head, "No, it's not."

"What's eating you kiddo?"

Blake took a deep breath, then leaned in close. She couldn't tell him the one thing, so she told him another, voice lowered.

"I decided to do something with the money."

Her dad blinked, then leaned in closer.

A/N: What do you think about her dad wants? Will she go one way or the other? Or find a balance?