Till We Meet (Complete)

32

I Am not like them 3.

I know that I'm the last person he wants to see right now after everything but I can't help it, he is the only person who understands me better than any one .I don't know if it is a good idea to open my mouth and start a conversation or not. His mug don't tell that he is happy or whether he is fine who knows —is there something that had upset him or is that I'm here ?he hasn't spoke a word since I arrived here I am starting to think that I am the reason why he is behaving this way.

We sit at his kitchen counter doing nothing, he  makes me a cup of coffee. 
"So aren't you going to tell me what is going on ?"
"No."
"I think I deserve to know because you just made me stay, I was about to leave for work."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to talk about it okay?" I yell at him, maybe that was drastic. But he doesn't need to know about these —beside he doesn't even like my best friend's if I tell him it would be music into his ears.

"Sometimes things are better not told." I lie, of course I would love to tell him but I can't tell him .

"I'm sure that you had a fight with Chris." he gauged me, too close _but that isn't the case. I knew that he would bring up chris's name no matter what. This jealousy of him is starting to get out of hand.
I don't understand him sometimes —the only thing that would make us be mad at each other is that he always bring somebody's name into our own conversation so that it may get out of hand.

"Not him. . . I and Chris are just fine you just obsessed with Me." I tell him, he puffs out and glimpse resonant into my eyes.
"You are not wrong I am indeed obsessed but I would never be with a girl who doesn't know herself."

"Do you know yourself then?"

"Yeah, I also know that not all people love me."

I see where this is coming from.

"Aren't You saying this because many guys are so crazy about me?"
"They not crazy about you , they crazy for your ass."
I stand up from my chair and I get next to him and come behind him, I move my tongue out as i lick his ear with my tongue as I tell him "I know you want me."

I don't want to do something I will regret it later, but I miss his body.

No body does it better than heldan.

He begins to gust stiff , I extend my hand inside his trouser, I touch his. . .and he immediately yanks my hand out of his pants.

"Stop it Hannah I have a girlfriend okay?"
"I understand that, but where is she right now?" I glimpse at him with a devilish smile.
"You need Jesus."
"We both need Jesus."
"I don't need Jesus, I know how to control myself."

Lier.

I wish that was true, being next to him feels like being in a warm home with everything, I don't want to let him go—i don't understand myself I don't get it why I'm behaving this way with this three guys in my life I don't know and I'm scared to admit it that I'm in love with him or them all .

"I know you one of them, you crazy about me."
"How?"
"You love me don't you?"
"Yes I do, but I can't be with you."
"Why is that?"
"Because you love them all, distancing myself from you is better than sharing you."

ouch! That hurts.

That is the second time he said something hurtful to me .

"And that is why I am not like them. "

——

I don't want to leave from here like this, heldan is being on his laptop for hours and haven't speak up a word coming out from his mouth to me. I cannot help but to stare at him ——more further_ this is my favorite part .
I find myself latched as soon as I dart my eyes on him , his pink lips , his beautiful brown eyes. . . oh my god.

I'm so obsessed.

How can a man be so good in everything? Even though I I am not sitting next to him but I sit on the other couch that is faced with the one that he is seated at.
Before he catches me looking at him I look at the walls of his dining area it suddenly caught up my attention —wow I did not know that he loved paintings that much, I wonder who had painted them ,they really are beautiful.
I turn my head a little to see if he still looking at me so that I can stare at him again , but I catch him still looking at me, his eye threatens mine and I look back at the paintings.

Why is he doing that, he is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Gosh.

"Can you stop what you doing?"

I turn acting as fool as I can, acting dump found it's one of my biggest talent .

"What?"

"Stop looking at me , I know that I'm handsome."

Yes that's not a lie, you beautiful.

"god you making me feel uncomfortable."

I'm glad that I am.

"I wasn't looking at you "
"Then what were you doing then? Huh? Staring at me?"

Both.

"Aren't you done yet?"

"Why you asking, if I'm too boring then why don't you leave?" his statement makes  me little dazed, how could he say that to me ?what went wrong? I know we not friends or something but he has no right to behave this way with me.

"Why you saying that?"

"Hannah I'm sick and tired of you okay, it bores me when you hurt me and not think about my feelings, you come back right into my door crying thinking that I would comfort you and shit! Okay? I'm tired of that you always showed up whenever you feel betrayed and hurt but what about me? What about me?!"

His words triggers me, I'm so hurt and somehow he is speaking the truth .and I've never acknowledged this until he told me —oh god what should I say to him? what should I do.
He seems really hurt right now, he closes his laptop , he  stands up and so do I.

"Heldan I'm so sorry, I also don't know what's wrong with me."
He nods as he beams, I know that he is hurt, im also hurt we both hurt.
Where do I start , I cannot tell him the truth behind all of my doings. I tried once and I failed, im afraid to tell him the real truth behind all of this .

I am scared to admit it that all this time what I felt for him was love and I let all the anger to control me, because he once left me in a critical state and I had to be humiliated in front of my parents and everyone who was related to me _since from the beginning of us living together and how he took care of me when I had an accident really shows how much he loves me .

That was love, a pure passion from him _he was there when I was hurt_ injured and made me feel sufficiently. I'm so mindless to have thought that if I would get a guy I would stop loving him.
But why do I end up coming to him?

"You know what get out of my life now, get out Hannah I don't want to see your face."

"Heldan.." he cut me off before I can say anything further .

"Get out!"

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