Empty Eyes: The Sequel

Chapter 40

I paced back and forth, biting my thumbnail as I did. Madara's going to step out of that bathroom any minute now, and I need to decide if I'm going to go through with this or not before that happens.

Akin to my footpath, my mind jumped from pro to con with fantastic speed. I'll start with the cons because they're what's preventing me from saying yes.

The things Madara has done to harm me are substantial. He's lied, hurt, and used me. He's the sole reason Sasuke and I started so shakily. He made the prince try to kill me, which led to the incredibly traumatic and painful loss of my virginity.

Then there are the pros.

The most significant one is that he willingly changed his mindset and lifestyle for me, for my sake. I'm a firm believer that actions speak louder than words. A person can apologize and vow to change, but if they never back up their claim, there wasn't a point in any of it. Madara said he regrets his transgressions and is still actively making efforts to atone.

He doesn't obey me like some kind of slave, but he does listen when he knows I'm serious. That's another thing he didn't do before. For example, when I wasn't sure if Sasori would kill me or not when we were prisoners of Sonukuni, the Uchiha vampire agreed to protect Ino because I begged it of him.

There are also unspoken things.

As our bond grows, it's become increasingly acceptable to be close. That being said, he backed off the moment he realized I had a lingering unease about his proximity. Add to that the fact that he's gone out of his way on many occasions to accept and protect Sasuke, whether it's because he knows how much it means to me or not, and it's no wonder I'm having trouble deciding what path to choose.

The door to the bathroom suddenly opened, pulling me from the insane depth of my thoughts and making me jump in fright.

"On edge, are we?"

Madara's voice was unserious, and he offered an amused grin as he crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed, running a comb through his thick, messy hair. Thankfully, he had a robe identical to mine, so I didn't have the distraction of his muscles to make my dilemma more difficult.

Still unsure, I climbed onto the bed and came to my knees so I could gently pull the comb from his grasp. Obviously, he sensed my tension and wordlessly allowed me to take over the task. With careful hands, I took my time removing any tangles I encountered.

What surprised me was how therapeutic the act immediately became. Gone were my frantic thoughts and anxious trembling. Instead, my breathing evened out, and I let this innocent proximity ease my discomfort. The fact that I couldn't see his face helped, too.

Many minutes passed, and then I was finished. As my manic anxiety rose again, I studied broad shoulders, a strong back and arms leading from them. Fingers trembling slightly, the comb slipped silently onto the bed beside me, and I placed my palms flat against Madara's back. As I felt him breathe beneath my touch, I closed my eyes and tried to calm the fear. The vampire didn't move and allowed me to do as I pleased at whatever pace I found suitable.

This is so confusing, my relationship with the once sadistic man. He terrifies me just as much as he calms me. I trust him not to hurt me as he has in the past, but I also struggle to overcome the memories and the trauma they brought.

Closing my eyes, I gently pressed my head against his back and breathed deeply, slowly, as I ran my hands up to his shoulders. Why is this so hard? We talked freely hours ago, and I felt comfortable with it. Maybe it's because Sasuke's not here to encourage me this time, so I can't mentally tell myself I only did it because my prince wanted it. No, I want it. I do, and I know it's weird and confusing.