Raven

Not herself

Mentions of attempted suicide

Jax POV

It's been a few weeks and Ray is not her self, she barley leaves the house. She won't let Abel out of her sight and she sleeps with a gun underneath her pillow. She's been having nightmares and I don't know what to do to help her. I try to comfort her but she just tells me she is fine and she needs space. I just don't know what to do so I asked my mum to speak with her and now I'm looking at an angry Raven storming towards me.

"Really Jax? You sent your mum to talk to me"
"Ray..."
"No. I told you I'm fine. I don't need someone to talk to and I certainly don't need a babysitter. I'm going back to my place. I'm healed I don't need to stay with you anymore"
She turns and goes to storm back off, but I catch her arm and turn her around.
"You can't leave Ray"
"Why?"
"Your not okay! I don't care how much you say you are. Your not! You have nightmares every night, you sleep with a gun. This is the first time I've seen you outside the house in weeks. You scared I get that. But he's gone Raven, you killed him. You have nothing to be scared off"

"Nothing to be scared off? Really in this life. I have everything to be scared off. I nearly died, your son could have died and sack......." She sighs "he did die. My bestfriend and he died in front of me. So excuse me if I'm having a little trouble with carry on as normal. Excuse me if I don't relieve every fucking second of what happened to me as your girlfriend ran away. Excuse me if I'm scared to breathe. You don't get anything Jax. You weren't there, you didn't go through what I did. So just leave me the hell alone" she walks away and gets back onto her bike and speeds away.

I look back and see everyone standing there having heard every word.
"What we going to do Jax?"
"I don't know. But we have to do something soon otherwise she is going to completely lose it"
They nod and we head on inside for our meeting, Ray is important to everyone here and we just want to get her through all of this pain. I don't know how just yet but we will bring the old Raven back.

A few hours later

I head back home hoping Raven is still there, I need to talk with her. She needs help she just doesn't want to admit it. As I walk in everything is quiet. I know Abel is with my mum, so I walk from room to room hoping to find Raven somewhere.
I notice the bathroom door closed, so I knock but I don't hear anything from the other side. I knock again and still nothing but I can hear water running. I push the door and it pops open, I see her laying on the floor, blood everywhere.

"Ray!" I rush in and try to wake her. She isn't responding and she pale. I turn off the taps and pick her up, trying to put pressure on her open wounds. I grab my phone quickly and call 911.
When the paramedics arrive, I'm still trying to slow the bleeding but it's not helping. They take over and I watch on on fear. She tried to take her own life. She tried to kill herself because of the life we lead. I shouldn't have let her leave, I should have forced her to stay somehow.
They load Raven up and rush her to the hospital I send a quick text to Opie and head off with her. I just hope she is going to make it through this, I can't live without her.