Raven

Im sorry

Jax POV

It's been a few hours and Raven still isn't awake, she lost a lot of blood and the doctors weren't sure if she would make it. I've been sat her, praying that she will be okay. Everyone has been by, leaving flowers and cards and teddies. Which makes me laugh because Raven is not that kind of girl at all. My Ma still has Abel and he keeps
Asking for Raven, I need her to wake up. I need her to look at me and tell me everything will be okay, for my sons sake and mine. The doctors and nurses are keeping an eye on her and reassuring me she will wake up in time.

I decide to pop out to make a phone call when I hear the nurse shouting for me. I run back in and I see Raven sitting up slightly, her head down and she is playing with her fingers.
"Ray?" She looks up and I see the tears fall.
"Im so sorry" she sobs out, I rush to her and wrap my arms around her carefully, she clutched my kutte as she buries her head in my chest.
"It's okay"
She shakes her head "no it isn't. None of this is"
"I know. But I'm here and we are going to get through this. I promise you"

"Please don't leave me Jax"
"Im not going anywhere"
She scoots over so I can climb into the bed with her, I hold her close. Relishing in having her in my arms again. I kiss her head and I feel her start to calm down.
"Why didn't you just talk to me Ray? I wanted to help"
"We are taught from a young age Jax. Problems are for weak people. I didn't want to be weak"
"Your anything but weak. I nearly lost you"
"Im sorry"
"Just please promise me you won't try this again"
"I won't"

Raven POV

I hear Jax snoring away and I can imagine he hasn't had much sleep. I look up at him and he looks so sweet and innocent. This life we lead breaks us down and turns us into people we don't always recognise. I feel weak, I feel like I tried to take the easy way out of this mess and I hate it. I hate how I hurt so much for my bestfriend. I hate how I feel responsible for his death, I should have been able to save him and I didn't. I need to get it together, I can't be apart of samcro if my head is a mess.

I see the door open and Gemma walking in with Abel. Jax wakes up and smiles over at his son. He gets off the bed and picks Abel up placing him on the bed. Abel snuggles into me and I smile "I missed you Ray Ray"
"I missed you too buddy"
"Are you okay?"
" I am now. You have magic hugs"
He giggles and hugs me tighter, I look over and see Gemma and Jax smiling over at us.

"Abel don't you think daddy should go get us some food"
Abel nods "yeah daddy. Food"
Jax laughs "alright bossy boots, I'll be back soon"
He kisses my forehead before kissing Abel's and leaves the room.
Gemma walks over taking my hand "you okay sweetie?"
I nod "I will be"
"Good. We can't loose you honey"
"I can't loose you guys either"
"We are all here for you. Literally. There all in the hall"
I can't help but laugh "god! The hospital must love that"
"Oh yeah. Very entertaining for them"