Raven

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Jax POV

Raven has been home for a few days now and she seems okay. She hasn't spoken about what happened but she is going to a therapist twice a week. Doctor orders otherwise she would have had to stay in hospital. She is living with me at the moment, another stipulation from the hospital, it's hard I want to know what she was thinking and why she didn't speak to me but I'm scared to push her. She has been spending a lot of time with Abel, he seems to keep her calm.

Today I'm hoping to be able to get her out of the house and to the club house to see everyone. They are all worried about her and just want to try and help her through this.
"Hey Ray?"
"Mmmm" she looks up from playing with Abel and smiles.
"Why don't we head to the club house today?"
I see her smile drop and her face is taken over by anxiety.
"Jax...."
"I know. But Ray everyone is worried about you and they just want to help"

She sighs and Abel sits down in her lap and cups her cheek "we can do this Ray Ray"
She giggles and kisses his head "yes we can little man"
She walks over to me, with Abel in her arms and passes him to me.
"I'll go get ready"
She walks past and I give Abel a high 5 "good one my little monster man"
He giggles and hugs me tightly, I hope she will be okay.

Raven POV

We pull up outside the clubhouse and I feel my heart hammering, it's hard being here knowing sack isn't here anymore and that the man who killed him did it because of this club. As I get out I see Tig notice me and he cheers. He walks over and picks me up spinning me around, I can't help but smile.
"It's good to see you sweetheart"
He kisses my forehead before I'm engulfed in many pairs of huge biker arms. All of them hugging me close and kissing me. I had to admit it felt good to be home.

After finally breaking free we headed on inside and Jax was pulled into church so I wondered around, ending up at sacks bedroom. As I open the door it instantly smells like him. Walking in, I see his clothes boxed up and his bed a mess. I see the teddy bear I won him at the arcade many years ago and I can't help but giggle. He was so proud of me for winning it. I take it in my arms and hold it close.

Sitting down on his bed, looking around seeing everything that meant something to him. He didn't have any family apart from us so I guess Chibs didn't know where to send all of this stuff. I feel the tears fall before I can stop them, I miss him so much.
"You okay?" I hear from the foot way, as I look up Jax is smiling sadly at me.
"Yeah. I think I needed this. I'm sorry Jax. I know I've been distant"
"You have nothing to apologise for. You went through hell Ray. It's understandable"

I shake my head "I didn't try to kill myself because of what I went through Jax. I did it because.........because sack was my bestfriend and I watched him die. I just wanted to see him one more time. Just speak to him."
He walks in slowly, sitting down next to me. Placing his arm around my shoulders
"Sack wouldn't of wanted you to do that Ray"
"I know. I'm so ashamed. He......he was the most amazing guy and....."
"You don't have to be ashamed. You are entitled to feel how you feel. But Ray" he cups my cheeks "we can't loose you, me, Abel everyone. We need you here so please just talk to me okay"

I nod and he hugs me close, I press my face into his chest and breathe in his calming sent.
"Thank you Jax"
"Always"
He kisses my forehead and for the first time since sacks death I actually feel okay.