There are so many times, there HAVE been so many times and even now.... I wish to God that I had have been wrong about Gene coming for me. Coming to break me even further, to drag me back down....to hide 'his shame' in plain sight. The nightmares after that night Mick and I got to know each other a little only came to get worse. I ended up having to have my wrists restrained again, I didn't WANT it and it only terrified me more. What I didn't know is Mick had already taken measures as it were, him to be contacted IMMEDIATELY if any member of my former band: Kiss showed up.... meaning ESPECIALLY Gene. Mick did what he could to protect me, I'd come to find out and my 'demon'.... even now, I tremble...even saying......
A warm, guitar roughened hand breaking me out of my reverie upon my face.... the hands wrinkled just like mine....and I cling to them, the hands of my husband.... Mick Mars.
"Paul..." Mick Breathes, and I only tremble more my eyes filling with tears and I practically dive into his arms, sobbing into his chest. "I know it hurts moonbeam; I KNOW. I wanna kill that demon bastard for still causing you pain all these years later......You're remembering.... god, I should have been there...."
"Mick YOU were, and I didn't even know it, you came to my rescue.... You were protecting me. I wouldn't be alive today if it weren't for you.... i just wish it hadn't taken me so long to recover." Mick I can tell gets my true meaning by those words.
"I would have waited a lifetime for you Paul." See? That's MY Moon. "I didn't realize for a long time I loved you, I always have and always fucking will. I am HERE babe, I've got you.... i had you then and I have you NOW." ......
Gene coming back.... would come at a time, I was due to leave the hospital having regained my physical strength, mental being something else we will leave it at that for now.... but Mick, would be at what would come to be OUR home, getting things ready for me.... making things special....
I lie here in agony.... mentally screaming, trying to calm down from my panic attack.... I'd just woken from a nightmare and my wrists.... are restrained again, Mick isn't here.... he isn't Here. He is working on getting the house ready for me....and I fear, I get this feeling I wont see it. Its evening, and Mick and the guys have been the exceptions as far as afterhours visitors.... i am jumpy and am desperately trying to get out of my restraints.... when suddenly I hear that baritone that chills my blood wash over me......And Gene comes into view, and I feel such fear...
He found me.... why?!! is....is, is he going to kill me.... No, NO he would not grant me death, I make him money, THAT is all I am good for to not just HIM but anyone.
Gene closes the door and I vainly try and undo my restraints, "So THIS IS where you were 'hiding'" Gene's tone is knowing as he stalks closer to me and before I can stop him, he whispers lowly, menacingly in my ear as I bite back a sob, "you little slut.... I KNEW you were here. Honestly, you think you could escape and that I haven't been watching." I try and turn my head till he forcefully jerks my head to look into those eyes that haunt my days and nights in the worst way. "You're gonna come back, we have A TOUR STARCHILD.... rehearsals.... oh, and Paul?" My heart drops at the smirk on his face, "I just met my new girlfriend...at a Playboy Party. Fancy that. the world will NEVER know and if you scream...Paul, you will regret it I PROMISE."
I truly have meant nothing to him.... Did he or has he EVER loved me? God, how stupid am I?
"G-Gene.... PLEASE.... just.... let me go.... i wont m-make trouble.... any-m-more." I Stammer.
A flash of metal.... a switch blade, the cold prick against my flesh....
"No, I guess you won't.... Will you? However. you.... will always.... belong to ME." Fear takes hold, as I realize what he intends to do to me as he starts removing his jacket and sunglasses.
"No..." I breathe out/whimper, struggling. There is no where to run, no where to hide....no one will come to my rescue.... i can't move, I cant fight as Gene now is hovering over me, me fighting him and I SCREAM, "GENE STOP.... PLEASE.... DONT DO THIS.... DONT...." My head rocks to the side, and I see stars.
This is it.... this is....
A door slams open and the last thing I hear is....
"You will PAY for hurting him and I will take you down."
And I pass out and give into darkness.... i didn't know it was MICK...it WAS him; I didn't know he beat the shit out of Gene, their height and weight differences didn't mean shit. I also didn't know, that.... Mick had gathered evidence, loosened some tongues, that the cops were there and ARRESTED Gene. The damage though of my near rape was done.... the mental damage....and when I awoke Mick was still THERE.... still is today and one day down the line from this day, I would SEE what it meant. What it means to me....
Am I dead? Did Gene Kill me? I am coming to the conclusion now, I must be dreaming....images flash before me, things long repressed coming back to the surface...I see the 'Hotter than Hell" shoot, I'd been drinking....but when I woke there was blood down my thighs, I see it trickling....my entrance sore, my head woozy.....and Gene, hovering over me, and I think....maybe, I was raped....
More nightmares flash by before things slows down and a bitter-sweet as fuck scene takes place:
It seems to be Christmas time.... i am in a room that is both familiar and unfamiliar to me...but it seems its mine.... drawings, paintings.... music, organized chaos, a safe space....and I am scared.... because it's the holidays and I am worried...about getting Mick a gift, surprising him......i mean I WANT TO....
A knock sounds at the door, and I realize now I am crying, and that voice sounds out worried....
"Paul? I was just wanting to check on you.... if you don't want me to come in, I understand, but if you do, I wanna help you."
"I...I....am fine!" I sob, not really being fine. The door opens hesitantly, his footsteps sounding, and I hear him groan and grunt as he to my shock joins me in the floor sitting close to me yet giving me space, "I...I.... it's CHRISTMAS Mick...last year......i wanted to 'surprise' someone....and it hurts.... HURTS...look what It got me. My baby....my baby is gone.... GONE Mick. And I fear if I surprise you, that you'll hate it." I admit, unspoken he will hurt me, and Micks answer floors me.
"Paul, honestly you don't have to get me anything. The best gift you could give me is you are HERE SAFE. I can tell how much you love it here.... I see it in your eyes. But I want you to KNOW here and now that if you get me Christmas presents, I will cherish them, I'd never hurt you. I wouldn't hate it....and I wish to God, your baby.... I can see how much you miss them; I wish they were here with us." I am unable to speak, a gentle hand rests on my shoulder......
And then cruelly, everything fades, and I realize I am alive, alive yet NOT.
A/N: Gene will face justice in time, but sadly Paul has a long way to go. Thankfully he had Mick come to his rescue. Next will be part 2.
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When You Wish Upon a Fallen Mӧtley Star (A Paul Stanley x Mick Mars tale)
RomanceSummary: Dreams, hopes...LOVE, all things everyone wants even when they say they don't. All things that Paul Stanley thought he'd have, but all is not as it seems in the world of the star child. His partner, his bandmate.... his DEMON, has broken hi...
