When You Wish Upon a Fallen Mӧtley Star (A Paul Stanley x Mick Mars tale)

Chapter 14- The Demon's Trial Part 1

How the hell did it come to THIS? The Demon, so called...and in the truest sense of the word for obvious reasons will at LAST come to trial....and it's only been a mere few DAYS since we've come off tour and I have come UNDONE.... waking up screaming, not knowing where I am.... until Mick calms me down, never ONCE complaining no matter what pain he's in physically. The nightmares, those damned nightmares come back with a vengeance. Panic attacks abound to, I TRY like hell not to and today of all days: October, 3.1983. the bliss, the romance...of mine and Mick's first official date, marred I feel by all this...I wish that I could relive THAT night  of our first date though over and over......Eric, Eric is testifying on my behalf....having taken it upon himself to from what I know gather info or dig up dirt on Gene, and I am working on giving Eric another chance at friendship....i just need a BREAK....i can't keep doing this and now, I have to face: GENE...and Mick, Mick can't be on the stand with me...and I....

"Paul...Paul! Calm down.... PLEASE.... Moonbeam...." Mick, it's my MOON.... he doesn't deserve this... I believe we are on our way now to the trial, Mick still trying to get me to respond...desperately......, "---Oh PAUL.... I know it hurts baby, and I have no true idea HOW MUCH, but I am here ok? Listen to the sound of my voice." I shake my head, feeling a sob work its way out of me and Mick surprises and moves me, as I feel spider like, yet gentle fingers run through my curls and warm, thin but PERFECT lips upon my own, taking time for me to FEEL AND CALM. And calm I do enough to talk, though I can feel myself tremble. Mick and I are in a car alone, the others are following us....

"M-Mick..." I whimper, "I-I...don't know if I can do this!! I am SO damned scared...what...what if Gene tries to hurt me again or you? I-I couldn't live with myself then....and then, having to SEE him again....and then seeing Vinny, I just.... got a bad feeling about him, with them both. And Mick.... there are things..." I drop my gaze before looking at Mick once more, Mick wrapping his arms around me and I exhale raggedly, "—That I haven't told even you.... PLEASE forgive me, I am SORRY.... its...it's too painful, and...I will have to share with the world...." I pause then manage to sob out, "If you no longer want me...love me.... i will understand." The thought filling me with such sorrow, and I know really its...HIS fault, HIS words.

"Paul listens to me, NOTHING on earth or any planet in this universe could make me not love you or love you any less. I can only truly imagine how much everything hurts and what it does and will do to you facing your 'demons' as it were. Your fears, you have every right to feel them...they aren't unfounded, because I have the same fears....and as for what you said..." Mick holds me tightly, his expression one of sorrow, love and determination and tears darkening his eyes to almost black, "---About things you haven't told even me, I just need you to know....there is nothing to forgive. You hear me? And I understand there are too painful to share, I could never judge you. I want you to tell me when you're ready, and I HATE that's being taken from you Moonbeam. I may not be there with you on the stand...or...." Mick pulls away, rummaging thru his pocket, pulls out his favorite handkerchief telling me, "It's a small thing.... but I want you to keep it with you on the stand, so I can at least in some small way physically be up there with you." I have no words, touched to my core......as I lean down kissing him, him lending me his strength which shortly I will very much need.

Upon arrival we're swarmed with the media, Mick snapping and calling them 'fucking vultures', which in THIS case I'd agree, so many people....scares me, but the cops clear people away and we're led around back, Mick and I both wearing sunglasses....and upon leaving the car, he refuses to let go of my hand....and we enter the building, me feeling like I am standing on the edge of the abyss......

And I see one of my nightmares along the way: Vinny Vincent.... Mick and security especially Mick fiercely, flank me....and of COURSE Vinny Has TO hurt me even more, taunting...and then screaming at me.... him being tackled....and led away.

"TELL ME HOW DOES IT FEEL KNOWING THAT YOU WERE NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR DEMON? HUH? THAT I WAS THE ONE HE RAN TO? AND I WAS A MUCH BETTER LAY THAN YOU....AND YOU...YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!..."

"You already HAVE." I whisper sobbing, "You...already have..." I start hyperventilating, feeling the need to run, Mick grounds me with....

"I will never let HIM, or that other bastard ever touch you again.... i should kill them! YOU were too good for THEM; they ruined their own lives with their abuse and greed. I love you and I Ain't going anywhere." I look down at him....

"I love you Mick.... I've never had a partner before that stood by me no matter what....and loves me.... just thank you, thank you my moon."

"Moonbeam, I will always do so....and I love you too more than you will ever know my love." A gentle hand reaches up to caress my cheek and I hold it there....and time stops for a moment it stops....

Sadly, time stars again, and Mick.... has to part from me, as I am led to the stand and for the first time in what feels like YEARS but has really been months, I find myself meeting the Demon's gaze and I flinch...trying to breathe, trying to NOT have a break down and in my head, I hear the echo of my moon's voice....

"I will never let HIM, or that other bastard ever touch you again.... i should kill them! YOU were too good for THEM; they ruined their own lives with their abuse and greed. I love you and I Ain't going anywhere."

And I find Mick's gaze...those eyes dark with emotion, chief among them LOVE such as I've never known for ME, silently lending me strength and.... then, the Demon's trial begins....

I remember the trial very well; it haunts me to this day.... things would come to light....and I don't just mean the things that at that point I had not yet shared with my then lover: Mick. There were things over the course of the trial that I didn't even know.... all I know is it broke me, or it would have broken me completely if it weren't for Mick. Still, it all DID take its toll.... The bright spot or what came out of it was it was a huge step in repairing my friendship with Eric AND justice was at last served and it made mine and Mick's bond, our love stronger...stronger than steel. He saved my life...in more ways than one but moreover he saved my HEART.

What's coming up next though.... I warn you, will NOT be pleasant to say the least.

A/N: Part 1 of the Demon's trial....Part 2 is coming up next so stay tuned!