17. Valerie and her date

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December 1975

Days pass by, and a secret whirlwind of emotions continues to spin inside me. I find myself caught between the memory of Evan's kiss and the reality that I have a date with him next weekend. It's a mixture of excitement and trepidation, and I'm not quite sure how to navigate it all.

Pandora and Eveline sense that something's amiss, their perceptive glances catching mine from across the table during meals. They exchange worried looks, but they don't pry. Their understanding means the world to me, yet the weight of this secret also grows heavier with each passing day.

One afternoon during lunch, James makes a subtle attempt to get me to open up. He nudges me gently and shoots me an encouraging smile, but I divert my gaze and change the subject. The truth is, I'm not ready to talk about it. The kiss, the upcoming date – they're like a whirlwind that's lifted me off my feet, and I need time to process it all.

I keep replaying the kiss in my mind, each time feeling a mixture of exhilaration and disbelief. Evan's lips on mine, the way he made me feel, the unexpected intensity of it all – it's a lot to take in. And while part of me is excited about the prospect of getting to know him better, another part of me is hesitant, still grappling with the feelings I've had for someone else for so long.

In the midst of my swirling emotions and secret thoughts, Remus approaches me one day, a concerned look in his eyes. He's always had a way of seeing through my façade, of understanding when something is bothering me. And right now, I can't help but feel a pang of guilt as I meet his gaze.

"Val," he begins gently, his voice a mixture of kindness and curiosity. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

I swallow hard, my throat suddenly dry. The weight of my secret presses on me, and I find myself searching for the right words. Remus has always been there for me, a steadfast friend who's seen me through ups and downs. But this... this is different. I'm not sure how he'll react to the truth.

I offer him a small, forced smile, hoping to deflect his concern. "Oh, you know, just the usual school stress and all that."

He doesn't look convinced, his eyes studying mine as if trying to decipher the truth hidden within them. I avert my gaze, my fingers tracing patterns on the edge of a book. It's hard to lie to someone who knows you so well, who's seen you at your best and worst.

"Valerie," Remus says softly, his tone coaxing. "You can talk to me. You know that, right?"

I nod slowly, my heart torn between the desire to confide in him and the fear of his reaction. I know he's only looking out for me, but how can I possibly explain that I have a date with a Slytherin, especially when I'm aware I'm doing it also to forget my feelings for him?

"I appreciate that, Rem," I reply, my voice tinged with a mixture of gratitude and apprehension. "But really, it's nothing major. Just some personal stuff I'm sorting through."

His gaze lingers on me for a moment longer before he sighs, seemingly accepting my answer for now. "Alright, just remember that I'm here if you ever want to talk."

I manage to summon a more genuine smile, my heart aching with both guilt and gratitude. "Thanks, Rem. You're a good friend."

As he walks away, I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness. Remus has always been there for me, a steady presence in my life. And yet, as much as I trust him, some secrets are just too complicated to share.

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The moonlight spills over the Hogwarts grounds as Regulus and I embark on our usual prefect patrol. The tension between us is palpable, a heavy silence punctuated only by the sound of our footsteps. I keep my eyes fixed ahead, determined to avoid his gaze, to sidestep any potential argument that might arise.

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