35. Valerie and friendship

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February 1976

I'm on the verge of leaving the infirmary, my mind still a whirlwind of emotions, when the doors swing open and reveal Evan. His presence takes me by surprise, and for a moment, we just stand there, our gazes locked in a heavy silence. There's a hurt in his eyes that I can't ignore, and I can practically feel the weight of the unspoken question hanging in the air.

I don't need to hear the words to understand what he's about to ask. It's written all over his face, etched in the furrow of his brows and the tense line of his jaw. I can feel his emotions radiate from his body and collide with my own skin.

He wants to know if the rumors are true, and if they are if Regulus is the reason why I've distanced myself from him. 

A lump forms in my throat, and I swallow hard, my gaze flickering away from his intense stare. How do I explain this? How do I put into words the tangled mess of emotions, the chaos that's taken over my mind? 

Taking a deep breath, I finally meet his gaze again, trying to convey more with my eyes than I could ever express with words. "Evan," I begin softly, my voice betraying me. I cough lightly to regain control. "It's not about Regulus. It's... more complicated than that."

His eyes search mine, and I can see the hurt deepening, a mix of frustration and confusion. "Then help me understand, Valerie," he implores, his voice tinged with desperation. "Tell me what's going on. Tell me the real reason why you pushed me away."

I feel a pang in my chest, torn between wanting to reach out to him and wanting to shield him from the storm that's brewing inside me. But how can I explain something I don't fully comprehend myself? How can I make him understand the overwhelming flood of thoughts, the intrusion of voices, the newfound abilities that have turned my world upside down? 

How can I explain to him that Regulus brings me peace because even if I don't know how or why, when I'm with him the voices in my head stop screaming. When I'm with him it feels right.

"I wish I could, Evan," I whisper, my voice cracking slightly as I struggle to keep my emotions in check. "I just promise it's not because of you. You are great and I really enjoy spending time with you, it's just..."

As I try to assure him, I sense a new presence even before I see him, and when I turn, my heart skips a beat at the sight of Regulus standing there. Tension immediately coils in the air, like a charged energy that threatens to erupt at any moment. Evan's reaction is unmistakable – his jaw tightens, his expression turns guarded, and his gaze narrows with a mixture of hurt and suspicion.

My words falter as I catch a glimpse of the storm brewing in Evan's eyes. I know he's fighting back a torrent of emotions, and I'm all too aware that Regulus's presence has intensified them. The silence between us is palpable, heavy with unspoken emotions and untold truths.

Regulus meets Evan's gaze head-on, his own expression a mask of neutrality. It's clear that something has happened and I can't help but feel guilty at the thought that I might have something to do with it.

Evan's features harden, his shoulders tense as he steps back from me, putting a clear distance between us. He glances at me briefly, his expression a mix of disappointment and resignation. And then, without a word, he turns and leaves the room.

The silence that follows is deafening, the weight of his departure echoing in the space between us. I finally tear my gaze away from the doorway to meet Regulus's eyes. There's an unspoken understanding in that gaze, a recognition of the complexity of the situation.

"I didn't mean for things to get this complicated," I admit, my voice carrying a mix of frustration and regret.

Regulus's gaze softens slightly, a hint of empathy in his eyes. "I know," he says, his tone surprisingly gentle. "But sometimes, complications are unavoidable."

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