Nightmare Of My Dreams | Tom and Bill Kaulitz |

Denial

••The provided song is necessary to listen ••

what have I done...

I came back to my senses, the reality hit me hard after the man collapsed onto the floor and I felt the world stopped spinning. it was just me and the gun in my hand.

I killed him, I killed a man, I killed someone....

I could hear my heavy breaths, and I could feel my shaking body stopped by the sudden panic, my eyes were wide open and remained fixated on the motionless figure before me, unable to look away.

Blood trickled from his lips onto the grimy floor, his eyes open and locked at ceiling, no signs of breathing, no signs of life.

The gun slipped from my fingers, falling into the floor in an slowed motion, everything seemed slowed, the world, my breaths, my heart beat. and I couldn't focus on anything else other that what had I done.

I am a killer, I have killed a man.

A droplet of sweat trailed down my face and fell to the floor and after, my tears began to drop. I finally let in a deep breath before I burst out screaming, even though my voice was weak, turning out like a whimpers but I still couldn't stop.

I felt two hands pull me up from my waist, hugging me tight in his embrace while I still couldn't stop my madness, "I k-killed..him, I..I am A killer.." I cried out as my body started to shake again beneath his arms. my cold body that I couldn't feel or move no longer. the venom was now all over me, slowly numbing every muscle I had, taking all the strength i had.

"You're not a killer lisa, please don't cry" He hushed, his voice repeating in my head as. his fingers were crossing the back of my head, placing my head against his chest.

Yet I couldn't stop, My tears were so heavy that I could even feel the wetness on my neck, rushing down to his clothes, his bloody clothes.

"I... I don't feel... good," I managed to whimper, my eyes only slightly open. The world around me spun in disarray, and each breath came with a struggle.

He moved swiftly, gently placing me onto a table."No..No.. don't fall sleep, keep your eyes open lisa no.."

He then rushed to the man that I had...killed and pull out the needle out of his hands, running back at me, "This is it..." he said urgently.

"Look at me lisa look at ME!! Don't close them,"

"No... N-No..." I mumbled, the words barely audible even to my own ears. The pain was overwhelming, physically and mentally.

"Shh, don't worry, everything will be okay," he reassured me as he positioned the needle over my arm, ready to put in under my skin.

"I..I d-deserve t-to...die"

"Damn it lisa, Stop it" Tom shouted, gritting his teeth as well as taking a deep breath in, as if he was still unsure that the needle he has on his hands would save me or not.

"I'm a-a killer..." I whispered and He pushed the needle onto my skin, slowly injecting the liquid, "You're not, just hold on a bit longer, for me" He pleaded.

"There, done..."Taking out the needle, he grabbed my numb hand and kissed it with his soft warm lips, "Your going to make it lisa...just stay a bit longer." He whispered, holding my hand tightly into his.

a few minutes had past and His unblinking gaze remained fixed on me, as if hoping my pale skin would miraculously return to normal, even though it wasn't that simple. But I couldn't feel anything; emptiness had taken over.