It's storming and I love storms.
You're reading this and I love you.
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What the hell.
Now Luke's definitely going to leave me.
What is even happening to my life anymore?
I was sitting in my car, trying to decide whether I wanted to scream or cry over what the doctor just told me in his office a few minutes ago. That's all I feel like I want to do anymore: scream, cry, hit something, or sleep forever. How much more can I possibly handle?
Luke's going to get sick of all the stress I bring into his life and he completely deserves to. It's not his fault bad things happen, but maybe it is mine.
Lukey: you alright? been gone awhile, I miss youuu
I almost smiled at the text. I was literally just with him about twenty or so minutes ago and told him I was going out to get some woman things. That was the only excuse I could think of that would prevent any of the boys from wanting to come with, and it worked. I just felt really bad for doing this to Luke. You know, for bringing sad or difficult things into his life. Like me.
I am quite the ray of sunshine today, aren't I? Well, you'd probably be acting and thinking the same way if you were just told that-
***
"Hello Miss James, thank you for meeting me in my office on such short notice. This is some important news. Where's your boyfriend? He was here earlier, wasn't he?"
"Uh yeah," I almost start sweating under the doctor's pointed stare. "But he couldn't come to this appointment, he had to go to work." Work? On a Sunday night? Luke working at all?
"Alright, well let's get right to it then. As I told you over the phone, I reviewed your test results again and it seems as though we made a small mistake with the paperwork." What? Small mistake? No mistakes dealing with this could be very minor.
"What is it?" Stop starring at me like I'm a dead puppy please.
"After going back over the results, we noticed many complications. Because of those, your baby doesn't seem to be developing like it should and since it's so early in the pregnancy, I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. I'm sorry."
I'm sorry. Sorry?
"What do you mean? Will the baby just have some sort of complications at birth? Or a defect of some sort? Or a disease? It is something I did?" He can't possibly be saying what I think he is, right?
"No no, there isn't anything anyone could've done to have caused this to happen. It's rather rare and we don't have any way of preventing it or seeing it before it occurs. I'm sorry, but in this kind of case, the chances are very very slim, basically none at all."
Stop saying your sorry. I don't like sorry.
"Slim chances?" I push him on. Slim chances of what?
"Slim chances that this pregnancy won't result in a miscarriage, and soon. Days, weeks at most. I'm sorry."
With that he got up, gave me one last pity look, and left the room.
I'm sorry too, Sir. I'm sorry too.
***************************************
I'm such a tease and I love cliff hangers too much ahahah x
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