I think this might be the last chapter because I'm starting a new Luke fanfic that I'm so excited for and it will be way better and more updated than this one.
Who would read if I published a brand new Luke fic?
Who else should I make a fanfic for? Or if anyone wants, I could write you an imagine.
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My eyes darted open as soon as I got enough strength to do so, flashes of light pulsing until my vision finally cleared. The hospital room was cold and empty, the too-bright white already giving me a headache.
Alone. I just felt so alone.
I had no family. No one who cared if the same blood ran through our veins or that we had the same last name. No one who despite the fact we're supposed to be there for each other forever just because we're related, wants to do that anyways.
I was here in this sad room alone. No family, no friends, no doctor, no boyfriend, and as soon as I felt the scars under my hospital gown, I knew there was no baby either.
It was just me, and even I didn't want to be there.
The self-loathing and hate only magnified the more I thought about how I couldn't keep this innocent little baby alive. It deserved to have a life and a real family and love and happiness. Sad and angry tears gushed from my eyes as I stood up far too quickly. My head started spinning more and I dropped to my knees, unable to control my sobs now.
Why did this happen?
Why does life suck for the people who are doing their absolute best? Maybe they say look on the bright side of things because they know it's only going to get worse.
Why can't I get away from my thoughts? From my life? From myself?
"Cassie!"
I squeezed my eyes tighter as I heard Calum come in and rush over to me. He got on the ground next to me and threw his arms around my shoulders, bringing me into his chest. Next thing I know there was another pair of hands rubbing my back and I flinched, peeking my eyes open to see it's Michael. I grab one of his hands and squeeze it hard as I continue to cry, neither of them speaking which I was thankful for. The door clicks open and one more comforting face walks in, completely oblivious.
"Finally got him to stop crying. He's in the bathroom now, wash - Oh no." Ashton practically ran over to me, kneeling before me and cupping my cheeks in his hands. My heart broke again just knowing Luke had been crying. I started shaking my head, knowing he was about to feed me some lies to try to get me to feel better.
"No," I harshly wiped the fresh tears off my face. "No, it's all my fault. I couldn't do anything so I must deserve this. But I don't deserve you guys and I don't deserve Luke. I hate me and you should hate me too. Luke should hate me the most. Wait, does Luke hate me?" Sudden panic over Luke set in, me finally realizing he could want nothing to do with me after this. His baby did in fact die because of me.
"What?!" Ash practically shouted and starred at me dumbfounded.
"Cass, you're speaking nonsense. We could never even come close to hating you." Michael rubs my arm.
But you could.
"Yeah babe, we love you. You're our family and we're yours, nothing will ever change that. This isn't your fault what so ever, and things will get better-"
"Don't feed me that bull-"
"As long as we have each other." Calum finished his sentence. "Because if we have each other, then we have everything."
"Cassie are you fucking serious?" Ash blurts, looking hurt and almost angry. I furrow my eyebrows as he grabs my wrists and looks me straight in the eyes. I notice how red his are, and wonder how long he had been crying also.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do all of this to any of you." I look down but he quickly brings my chin right back up.
"No no shut up! How could anyone possibly feel anything but joy when they're around you? And love and amusement and happiness and excitement because that's everything you give us and it hardly even compares to what you give Luke. God, you're the reason he's alive Cassie. Don't you get that? You're the reason he enjoys things and laughs and smiles because everything he does reminds him of you. You're special and we have you for a reason and you have us too. We're not going anywhere."
My lip quivers, the horrible thoughts finally relieving themselves from reoccurring. I look around at the three of them, alone no longer being that scary. As long as I'm alone, I'm glad it's with these idiots.
"Thank you, and thank you for being here. I love you guys." I whisper through tears sliding off my lips, quickly blinking more away. I look at all of them, the love radiating off of their features as I realize how wrong I was, and how much I need these boys. But my heart still hurt, and I just needed the one person who could mend it. "I... I want Luke." I squeaked out, and Michael quickly shoots up and runs out of the room.
Not even thirty seconds later Luke's basically sprinting through the door, Mikey not far behind. The love of my life runs over to me, picking me up off of the ground and sitting me on his lap on the bed, holding me like there's no tomorrow.
"Mike told me what happened, and please don't ever scare my like that again. Don't hate yourself, because that's like hating me because you're my life and my everything, and I don't want that ever being taken away from me." He squeezes impossibly tighter, his heart thumping against my ear and filling me with life.
"I love you."
"I love you the most." He whispers back and kisses me quickly before returning to holding me.
We sat like that for who knows how long, the rest of the boys finding their way to us and either holding my hand, rubbing my back, or resting a hand on my knee. We just sat there in each others love and were there for each other. I didn't know it was possible to want everything in your life to be over to wanting nothing to change ever again.
These boys were my family, and they were all I ever needed.
¤ ¤ ¤
Cass ×
