Dangerous cravings

❀thirty five

"I'm sorry"

I feel myself go completely numb at her apology so this was it, it was all over now.

Fuck! I was stupid to actually think that she'll like me in the end. I forgot the reason she came to me for in the first place.

I chuckle looking at her, standing Infront of me her gaze down "no, I'm sorry for excepting anything in return, I got greedy"

"Ethan.....of course not......".

I take my Jacket off and wrap it around her body so she doesn't get cold since she's only wearing a simple dress.

"Are you sure you're going to be happy with him?" I ask her again and she nods her head, I sigh grabbing a handful of my hair "well I wish the best for you Gabriella, if he ever hurts you again just know I'm a call away" I feel my own tears starting to gather the more I look at her.

My lady, she'll always be my lady even if it's from a far.

"Ethan.... listen to me"

I move closer to her kiss her on the forehead "go inside, you'll catch a cold out here" I smile at her before walking off heading into the house to grab my helmet.

Once I grab my helmet I call my friends "you home?" I ask them "yeah, Rome's place" Brian says and I hang up walking out from the front door.

I get on my bike and drive to Rome's house, fifteen minutes later I park the bike in his garage and take the elevator upstairs.

"Fra, you're here" Rome says excitedly walking to me, his face drops as soon as he see the tears in my eyes.

"Fra, what's wrong?"

I walk to the living room flopping myself on the sofa sighing heavily. They Sit next to me wanting to hear what's wrong.

"She went back to him" I tell them chuckling "what?" They ask me in usion "get me a polmos vodka" I take my shoes off and put my feet on the sofa.

Rome comes back a minute later holding the drink and three glasses, he sets them on the table with Brian's help.

"So what happened?"

"She met with him and agreed to date him again, isn't that predictable?"

"Fra, are you doing fine?" What kind of question is that "I'm not, I just lost her Rome, I lost the only girl who's ever made my heart flutter for fuck's sake"

I throw my head back as my tears start to furiously fall "why am I not good at relationships, Rome?".

They don't say anything, nothing they'll say will ever be able to patch up the brokenness I feel in my heart right now.

"It'll pass Ethan"

"You think? I loved her Brian, I've never even loved myself like that, she doesn't want me, she made it clear enough for me"

I take a sip of my drink and wipe my tears "i just wish she'd choose me, is something wrong with me, am I not worthy of love mhhh"

I can't think straight, my mind is foggy. It's like I've reached the end of a dead tunnel. I miss her already, I want her back even if it'll hurt me...I just do.

She's just not herself, I'll believe any word she says to me as long as it's an I love you too.

"I got too greedy didn't I?"

Still no answer.

"Rome do you think I ever crossed her mind as someone more than the guy who fucks her?"

"Ethan..."

"I want her dude, I want her back with me on my bed, I want to cook for her, read to her, love her, adore her, I want to do everything with, for, and to her....I can't do this without her"

I got so used of having her around that I forgot about everything, I'm used to her laugh, her hair ,her little jumps when she's excited, her .... I'm jus so addicted to her.

"Go talk to her guys, tell her everything okay, please try to get her back for me.... please I need her, I live for her without her I'm not fucking whole.... please..... please get me my Gabriela, I'm begging you to do so please"

I kneel on the floor tugging Brian's leg begging her to go get her back for me to no vain, they both no it's impossible and so do I but is it wrong for me to hope?

I told her once to not fall inlove with potential but look at me now,I'm doing exactly that....I love her. I love her so much god knows, he's a witness of how my heart yearns for her every second of the day.

I'll do anything to have her back even if it's loosing my goddamn soul I'll do it....I'm happy when I'm with her, my happiness is her, my life is her. Without her nothing is worth existing.

I don't want to live in a world where she isn't with me anymore,I got a little taste of having her with me and now I can't help it but crave for her.

"Fra, please calm down, we'll sort this out" I nod my head trying to lie to myself in believing what Rome had just said to me, they'd figure it out.

That's the only thing that comes to mind before everything goes black.