THE UNREQUITED LOVE

24.

YN'S POV

I don't know what has gotten into his head, he has been acting too clingy since morning not that I hate that or feel uncomfortable but it is very new to me, and I might need some time to get used to it. Last night I drank and the way he is treating me right now, it seems like I told him everything, well I highly regret that, I never wanted to show anyone my vulnerable side. He might be the last person with whom I might share my problems because I don't want to be a burden on him than I am already, he has a different life waiting for him in another country and I don't to come in between him and his girlfriend.

Destiny, that's the most powerful thing in this whole damn world, it can make you do anything even if it's against your will, just like that I have to get close to him one more time just to save my baby, I know it's going to be wrong for his girlfriend but he said his girlfriend agreed, she seemed to be like a mature and understanding woman, he's lucky to have someone like like her beside him, I wish I could also have someone besides me to take care of everything for me.

I might not show distress, over myself and always try to be perfect for everyone but deep down I know I'm tired of everything, I just want some time for just myself but that's impossible for now because my life is nothing compared to my baby I need to save him first, I made him like this and now it's my responsibility to fix him and allow him to live a peaceful and healthy life ahead.

I love the kids so much that I can do anything for them, If I had to get pregnant for the sake of Eun-woo's life I would do that, I'd put my self-esteem aside for a while and do everything I could to save his life. I can never imagine my life without my kids, nor do I ever want to, just thinking in that way gave me goosebumps and made me anxious.

I flinched as I felt fingertips on my cheek, I looked up and found him very close to my face once again, he was looking into my eyes trying to comfort me which I never knew I needed. I know he'll leave again, he'll hurt my feelings again, he'll abandon me again but I don't want to think about all that Instead I want to focus on the present, I want to cherish the moment in which we are living, I want to live freely just for once, so I decided to push all the evil thoughts at the back of my head and live in the moment no matter how much it would break me later, I get over with this earlier and I could try to move on once again quickly, but later...

He cupped my face gently and brushed his thumb across my cheekbone softly, Taking me by surprise he pecked my lips shortly and rested his forehead on mine, My heart was racing at abnormal speed by now and I felt a fluttering feeling in my stomach, I felt something but I was too afraid to name it. He looked into my eyes and spoke,

"Just tell me whenever you are ready"

"And in no time Eun-woo will get healthy"

"Then everything will be fine"

"Okay?"

I nodded breathlessly, he wiped the skin under my eyes and I realized that I was crying again. I should learn to control my feelings, I'm becoming emotional once again, and I sniffed and brushed away my tears. I looked back into his eyes and told him,

"I'm ready"

Well, that's too early to answer but I don't want to risk anything, I just wish to Eun-woo to be healthy as soon as possible. As Rose told me earlier, we have to hurry up since there are high chances of Eun-woo's getting worse and I don't want him to suffer anymore just cause of me, so yes I'm ready for my baby. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" 

I replied, I know he is shocked cause of my sudden answer but I want everything to get over as soon as possible. He searched my face for any second thoughts for a minute but nodded eventually, he caressed my cheekbone while looking down into my eyes with those dark chocolate orbs, I can't figure out what but every time I look into them I feel something that I'm unaware about.