Dark side.

Envy.

Rafe's PoV.
I took Tia, Sarah, Top and Kelce to the beach. Not that they had to be supervised but our parents still thought they were 10.
I was sat in a beach chair with a beer, Topper and Kelce doing the same as Tia and Sarah went swimming.
Topper was talking about something I didn't care for, I did the occasional nod or grunt to try seem like I was listening but it wasn't my best performance.

All I could think about was Grayson.
Was he making her laugh?
Making her smile?
Was he flirting with her?
Was she flirting back?
Was he touching her?
Was she letting him?

I'm normally a very chill person when it came to casual hookups. But with Liv- it felt different.
I realised the moment Emma came over and tried to kiss me that I didn't want it.
I didn't sleep with Emma.
We watched films. Then Liv called- I picked her up.
I should've told Liv that I didn't sleep with Emma but to be honest.

I was embarrassed because when it came down to it I couldn't do it. I normally would sleep with whoever. No problem. I didn't care how many I was sleeping with at one time. I didn't do relationships or commitment.
I was to embarrassed to tell Liv that I didn't sleep with Emma because all I could think about was her.
That's giving Liv to much power.
So instead I played along, when she accused me of sleeping with Emma I agreed. I liked that she was jealous. That in itself is wrong.

But then I felt less like an idiot for rejecting Emma because it was clear in that moment liv clearly cared more about who I was 'sleeping' with then she lets on.
I'd rather lie and let her think that I slept with Emma then tell her that I haven't been able to think of sleeping with anybody else let alone actually doing it.
I tried with Emma- I tried to forget but the second she leaned in i chickened out.

I haven't even been able to get off to other ideas of women. It won't work.
It's like she's given me some witchy potion. Cursed me or something.
I've never felt so fucking vulnerable it's unreal.
The truth was I did feel threatened by Grayson- and his 'jokes' about marrying Liv.
I felt like I had to show him what he couldn't have so it's clear HE CANNOT HAVE HER.

"Rafe?! Dude? Are you even listening?" Topper threw sand on my lap as I shook my head slightly.
Trying to get out of my own head was harder then it use to be.
"It's hot and all I can hear is you talking. What do you think?" I sip out of my beer as I lay back closing my eyes .

Liv's PoV.

"Why'd you say that you invited me out? You haven't spoken to me since the dinner" we were currently sat opposite each other.
At a restaurant on the beach front, high up that it looked over everything. It was beautiful.
"Because it was weird seeing Rafe like that with you of all people" Grayson was downing his drink before finishing his sentence off.
"What's that supposed to mean?" My brows scrunched up in defiance.

Did he also think i am so sort of prude.
"Because Rafe hates you and you hate him. You were the last person I thought would've fallen for his fake charm" Grayson shrugged almost disapprovingly at me like he was my dad.
"I haven't fallen for his charm- he thinks you like me. For some reason he hates that. Since you've been away with your parents- he's been around a lot. I don't think he's use to me actually getting any attention" I sip on some wine before finishing off my meal.

Part of what I said sunk in. Was Rafe only interested in me because he saw Elijah giving me attention at the ice rink? Or that guy in his club or guys ins parties, at the beach? Now Grayson?
Was I just a first place medal that Rafe wanted to win? Because no one else had?
"Typical Rafe. He's done this before" Grayson rolled his eyes a little, cutting up his steak.
"Done what before?" To be honest I was confused by what Gray was saying. He acted like he knew Rafe so well but he doesn't know what Rafe's done.

"That girl- I think her name was Tracy? Something like that. He knew she was a virgin, didn't let no body touch her and played hard to get so he waited her out and managed to be the one to take her V- card then ditched her off" he stuffed a lot of steak in his mouth as he spoke.
My blood running cold.
Rafe's done this before.

"I'm not a Virgin" I scoff in annoyance, I wanted to do desperately prove Grayson wrong. On everything.
But I couldn't.
"Oh yeah? Who then?" His brow crocked as he spoke and I pussy out.
"No one" I sigh as I look out at the sea, Rafe's done this before. It kept repeating on me like bad seafood.

"What happened to Tracy? After? I mean- he couldn't of just got with her because he wanted to be the first?" I couldn't wrap my head around it, why would that be so appealing to rafe?
"She was crushed obviously but she moved on and now she's married so- but yeah. He pretended he liked her and stuff so he could brag when he was the one she'd let hit" I wanted to burst into tears to be completely honest but I meekly nodded.

"How do you know this?" I ask causally, Rafe and Grayson were never really that close.
"Went to the same high school except when he got moved to yours for his last year. Nothing in school is ever a secret" oh. He really went around and did this to brag to his whole school about it. Probably part of the reason why he got kicked out huh.
Was he only interested in me because I was some Virgin who didn't let anyone 'hit'

I played hard to get. I was off limit. Why would he actually be interested in me? I have no experience and he's said time and time again that I'm 'prissy' 'stuck up' and 'highly strung'
He'd never say that to someone he actually was interested in.
He liked girls like Emma.
That's why he fucked her when I was at he party.

Emma's short, slim, toned, tanned, bleach blonde, carefree, party enthusiast, fun and everything I wasn't when it came to personality.
She could let go. I never could.
If I did I'd end up in a psychiatric facility.
I've never felt like I could be myself with anyone.

Emma was out going, bubbly, funny and was interested in what Rafe was interested in.
I was never that girl.
In fact. Rafe said I needed to 'loosen' up.