Every Arc Ends with My Death

Chapter 70. Immovable Fall

ALISTAIR KIRSTEN DE AVERILL

When exactly did things start to go downhill?

In truth, I was a simple man. I knew my place, and I wasn't ambitious. Despite coming from an eminent ducal family, they drilled an idea on me.

That I should never yearn for more, in any sense.

And so, with that kind of mentality, I led my life as the shield of the north. I focused on how to protect my territory and make its barren lands prosper.

I should have just stayed in that cold place.

If I didn't leave the north, I wouldn't have met her and none of us would have to go through this hell.

She was my sun, the one who gave me light.

But due to the warmth she made me feel, I forgot what my parents strictly taught me all my life.

Eventually, I started yearning for more.

Perhaps my greed was the one that hammered the nail in the coffin, which led to this exact moment.

"Isabelle," I whispered her name softly.

My hands were soaked in blood after killing the love of my life. I swore to protect her with my blade, but then I ended up slaying her with it.

For a while, I stood there short of breath, with two corpses lying on their own bloodbath. The prince and the one who assassinated him are both dead.

Once again, I was left to be alone.

My chest heaved as I glanced over the body of the crown prince. Regardless of everything, Dion and I grew up side by side. We were often compared with each other, but I'd say we still got along well.

However, when he met that woman, he started to change. My friend was bewitched, to the point that he was willing to destroy the empire for that girl.

Due to his blind affection for Lady Ingrid Nala Marchetti, I deemed him unsuitable to rule.

Thus, I chose to side with the princess, who was barely surviving against the schemes of Dion.

"This is so exhausting." I muttered grimly.

As if on cue, my fingers let go of the hilt of my sword. At the same time, I lost my strength and stumbled on the floor, totally resigned to defeat.

I am so tired of this fucking hell.

Isabelle was looking at me with her slitted throat. I could see the flesh on her neck as blood oozed from it, and her corpse laid there unmoving.

"Why are you doing this to me?" My throat dried as I spoke. "How many times do I have to watch her die before my eyes? Stop toying with me."

My eyes instantly rimmed with tears.

"I am so tired of this," I said in between sobs, clenching my chest with my hands. "Please."

For the first time, I felt so lost and helpless.

I just seem to keep making the wrong choices.

When I betrayed Isabelle and Haniel, was it my own will or was it part of the unfolding plot?

Even though I already have self-awareness as a character, is it the novel pushing me to act this way? Or am I simply selfish, ugly, and vile?

"Why did you have to write me like this?" I asked emotionally. "All I wished was to be with her, yet you kept taking her away from me... and when I finally go against the plot to protect her, she falls in love with that man. What am I supposed to do?"