A Court of shadows and love

Chapter-36

Xander was still breathing hard when Rhys winnowed them back to the House. When his feet hit the solid ground he immediately started to hurl whatever little food he managed to eat this morning.
A hand was smoothening his back and forcing him to breathe properly. His ears started ringing and the eerie feeling he felt in the prison came back a thousand times stronger.
Don't forget to close the door Prince.
Close the door.
Close the door.
Close—
"What the hell happened there?" Azriel growled looking at Cass and Feyre. Pure anger and raw agony etching his features.
"We would like to know as well," Rhys took a step towards where Xander was standing. But he froze as Azriel let out a growl of warning.
Xander looked at Rhys.
Don't come near. I will handle it.
Rhys relented and stood near Feyre.

"It's fine," Xander said, his throat burning with acid. Azriel turned to look at him. His eyes narrowed and pain visibly rippled through him.
"You closed the bond," he whispered.
"I know. I had to. I had to know more," Xander raised his hand where the golden thread was still woven around.
"Is that—"
Azriel touched the golden thread and looked at Xander. Xander nodded his head.

"The carver knew what it was," Xander said and explained to all of them what happened after Feyre and Cassian left him alone.
Azriel's jaw flexed as he listened to everything. Anger and shame washed over the bond. Xander felt the need to hug Azriel. He caressed the bond and Azriel let out a breath slowly.

"It sounds dangerous," Rhys said. His eyes flicked to Feyre and back to the gold chain on his hand.
"Everything we do is dangerous," Xander said, exhausted. He wanted to see what he looked like. He wanted to know if he looked as bad as he felt.
He turned towards Azriel.
Azriel's mental wall of shadows slithered away as the tip of his dagger touched it.
And he was right.
If it was possible he looked worse than he felt. Tears marred his face like lines of whips. His eyes were red rimmed. And lips so pale he looked cyanotic.
A sadness that wasn't his own overtook him. Anger battled with sadness and anger wielded the victory.
"We are done now," Azriel growled.
Only then he realized that that wasn't his anger. It was Azriel's.
Azriel's hands wound around his body and shadows swarmed them both.

Xander was numb when they reached the cabin. He didn't talk as Azriel undressed him, he didn't say anything as Azriel removed the gold chain from his hand. He didn't say anything as Azriel scooped him up and stepped into the bath.
Xander was on the verge of breaking. The cord holding him together was taut. He was going to collapse.
But he couldn't. If he did, he would lose whatever was left of his broken family.
And so he weaved a new cord. He was filled with so much anger. It was no difficult task to find it and weave it. He built himself in the arms of his mate as Azriel cleaned him up.
"I am here," said Azriel as he held Xander close to his body, "I am here. It's alright if you don't want to talk. Just know that I am here. I will always be here."
Xander burrowed into Azriel's body and let everything go.
Just for a moment.
He promised himself.

"Why aren't the leathers enough?" Xander asked as he watched Azriel take out a slick black suit from the closet for him to wear.
"You are going to the Court of Nightmares as the High Lady's brother. Not as a warrior."
Xander noted that Azriel was wearing his Illyrian leathers. With all of his seven siphons, twin swords and Truth Teller.
Xander nodded his head and got dressed.

"Listen minxie," Azriel said, straightening the lapels of Xander's black suit, "at The Hewn City I—"
Azriel hesitated to say whatever he wanted to.
"At The Hewn City you may see a side of me that you won't recognise. The Torturer. A side I never wanted you to see—"
Xander cut Azriel off with a kiss to his lips. Azriel reacted immediately and pulled him close by the lapels of his suit.
"There is no side of you that I won't love, Az," Xander said, "I love you. All of you."
He kissed both of Azriel's palm and tears welled in those beautiful golden eyes.
Every scar and wounds.
He loved them all.
"Your sisters have been moved to The Townhouse."
It was a good thing Xander supposed. Them not being cooped in the House of Wind all alone. He should have done that a long time ago. Maybe being somewhere else might help his sister.
"Shall we?" Azriel extended his hand for Xander and he took it. Shadows engulfed them both as they disappeared from the confines of their safe haven.
They were the last to arrive. Feyre and Rhys were standing first at the procession. Nesta and Amren standing behind both of them followed by Mor. Xander joined Nesta at her side and kissed her cheeks. Nesta to her credit kissed him back.
Azriel stood behind Xander. He could feel him near. Xander knew he would drift away with Amren once they reached inside. Until then he could be near.