hold me tight - jikook

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pretend for the sake of this story jikook enlisted after christmas xx

hope everyone had a wonderful festive season!

ps - i made an instagram! it's @kookphils , i would really appreciate a follow ;)

x

"long day?"

"the longest."

the pair laughed slightly. they are laying in jungkook's bed together on chrismas day. it's only about ten pm but the two are already shattered. they hosted each others families for a final farewell dinner before the two enlist on the 27th. a couple of the other member's parents and siblings popped in as well. over the years they've all become so close, sometimes jimin forgets who he's actually related to. jungkook and jimin's dad did all of the cooking, they enjoyed a traditional korean feast of bulgogi, sweet potato noodles and taehyung's mum's famous kimchi. the day was perfect. long - and emotionally draining, but still perfect. they never usually get to spend the holidays with their own family, let alone everyone else's, so it was a nice change - and a wonderful way to send them off.

both boys have already shaved their heads. they did it together on christmas eve. jungkook wasn't too bothered, but it really upset jimin. it was less about the hair, and more about what would follow.

it's not really hit jungkook yet to be honest.

it hasn't even hit him that all the others are gone. jin has been serving for a year and yet it's not totally sunk in. it probably won't hit him until he's at the training ground. he's been there before - quite a few times actually. he's sent off his brother, other members and some friends in the past. but in a few days he will be stood in the biting cold, ready to face his eighteen months of service. he's glad he gets to go with jimin. in fact, he has no idea how jin coped by himself for so long - he gets to see hoseok regularly now. and yoongi too. namjoon and tae went in together as well, about a week before christmas. jungkook and jimin were meant to join them, but they delayed it by a week so they could celebrate with family members one last time.

"how you feeling?" jimin asks the younger. the entire day, it's been his hyung that's been the emotional one. jungkook has kept it in, he actually hasn't cried since he said goodbye to army. everyone already knew that's what would get him. but he's a soft soul, so it's more concerning to jimin how quiet the maknae has been today. almost like he wasn't here.

jungkook exhales, eyes closed. jimin holds his hand gently. jungkook turns to look at him. "can you believe it, hyung? in a few days ... we'll be .. gone."

jimin laughs. "you make it sound like we are dying. we won't be gone, we'll be serving our country. we've known about this since we were toddlers."

"i know that. but it's always seemed so far away, at one point i didn't think it would actually happen. i always knew i wanted to, but i didn't think they would allow us. it's like the lead up to your wedding or something. such a big thing looming over your head that you never think will actually happen, it's always 'in the future', until it's not. it's happening. we've known about this for years, like you said. so why do i feel so unprepared?"

"because we haven't done anything to prepare yet, besides shave our heads. they teach you everything you need to know jungkook - you can go in with no knowledge. that's why we train."

jimin's not understanding him. he's not unprepared to be in the army. he knows they will tell him all about his role as a soldier and so on, but no one ever tells you what it like to be taken away from your normal life for two years. to leave your family, your dog, your job. it's like moving country and only packing a tiny bag that can't even fit two changes of clothes in.

it's just normal here. you go away and do your military service, then you come back and get on with it. his dad did it. his grandad did it - and his great grandad actually fought in the korean war. he went away one day and had no idea if he would ever come back - jungkook knows he will return safe and sound - and yet he can't seem to wrap his head around it.

he remembers speaking to a friend he made in america, who was utterly gobsmacked by the fact that all korean males have to do this. it's so normal to them that none of them really sit back and think about what they are actually being asked to do. it's just life. it's like breathing or walking. if you want to get by in life you will eventually have to cross that bridge.

jimin notices that jungkook has gone quiet again. so he hugs him, just barely wrapping his arms around him, it's weird holding him so close and not feeling his hair tickle his chest. it makes his heart hurt a little.

"we'll be together, kook. anything they throw at us - we'll manage because we have each other."

jungkook still doesn't reply. jimin closes his eyes.

"do you think army will move on from us?"

jimin bites his lip.

"some of them, yes. but that's normal. people move on from us everyday - for whatever reasons they may have. people get older - interests change. these things happen. but then for everyone that leaves, someone will discover us and our music - and we will have them to come back to in 2025.

plus, there will be millions of army who won't move on - and will miss us just as much as we miss them, and we will have them too. there's people in this world who will be counting down the days until we're back - and we should focus on them, rather than the ones who get bored."

"i don't think i could wait two years for someone."

"you won't love army when you're back?"

"no- of course not - i will always-"

"and so will they jungkook. they'll wait, i promise."

the pair lay in silence again, all that can be heard is their breathing.

it's like this for a while, until jungkook speaks again.

"how do you think namjoon and tae are?"

jimin laughs again. "you saw them less than a week ago kook. they are fine, we'll get to see them when they send us off too. and hoseok is fine, and yoongi - and jin. and we will be too. it's alright jungkook. everyone is going to be fine. it's normal to worry about such a big change - but it will be over before you know it. like , how long has it been since we were at the grammys?"

"the grammys - maybe like-"

"eighteen months."

"but it feels like-"

"just yesterday? yeah. see - we will be home before you know it. we will be all together again soon jk. i promise."

"thanks hyung. i know it's silly to worry, but i-"

jimin interrupts him again;

"when i came to you crying before my album came out, did you think i was being silly?"

"no? of course not. an album is a big deal min."

"yeah, and so is going away for eighteen months. it's not silly at all. you're allowed to feel however you want."

jungkook smiles.

the pair go back to being quiet. they lay pressed together in bed with just the younger's purple mood light illuminating the room - but neither of them break the hug to go turn it off. they are able to tune it out eventually, and they fall asleep like that. exhausted from the day's festivities.

a big change is coming, and neither of them know what it's going to be like - but how are they meant to? it's okay to feel unprepared, nervous - scared even. they're human. it's alright.

they are alright.

after all, they have each other. and they will be together every step of the way. and when they get out at the end, there will be five smiling faces in the foreground and twenty million others in the distance.

so don't worry. it will be over before you know it.

bangtan forever 💜

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1380 words

i kinda like this

ej

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