First // c.c.

Chapter 25: Jase

Jase' POV

I arrived at our old Sacramento home and pulled into the driveway. The weather was a lot better here in the Central Valley compared the foggy and freezing weather in San Francisco. It was always warm here, even if it was beginning to be Fall.

I stepped out of my car, grabbed my duffel bag and backpack from the back trunk and went over to unlock the front door. If I remember correctly, I am pretty sure we left this house when I was around 4 years old I think, just about ready to start Kindergarten. We left here to move further up more near the bay because it was a closer commute for our parents.

We kept the house, but of course we don't pay for the utilities and everything in it anymore. I always wondered why we never sold it. Either way, I just needed some place to be alone. I knew this probably looked really bad considering Camila and Lauren came down here and well Camila mainly came down to see me, but I had this planned beforehand. I needed to go here.

I walked inside, revealing the rather empty and hallowed out home that I used to live in. It was a lot bigger than our current house. The house we lived in right now was just one story, while this one was actually two stories. I left my bags in the empty living room and decided to look around.

My footsteps echoed throughout the house and the stairs creaked but it didn't freak me out at all. I always thought this place was safe. That's why I came here. I climbed up the stairs turning left to walk down the hallway, passing Jerick and Kaylie's room, finding mine and Vee's room at the end of the hall.

I stood at the entrance of the room, leaning on the door and just took a look around the small area. Even as children, we shared rooms. We shared everything, from a room, to the same favorite color, to the toys we would want. I sighed as a walked inside and decided to take a seat on the floor, leaning my back against the wall.

Then why can't I share something like this with her? Oh right because I'd be horrible if they found out. I'd be a disappointment, I would be the worst brother in the world. It was never easy for me to talk to people, but Veronica made it easy for me. Except not this time.

Camila popped into my mind once again. It's like she never gets tired running through my mind. I gave her a kiss this morning before I left for school. I didn't know when she and Lauren would be leaving, and I did plan on staying here for the weekend. I know, I know, how selfish of me. She flew all the way from Miami to come and see me, but I don't even hang out with her. I'm messed up alright.

Camila became another person I found very comfortable to talk to. Although, when I was about to tell her, I got scared again. I know she's not judgmental, she doesn't seem to be, but so many scenarios played in my head. What if she looked at me differently? What if she hated the way I am after I told her? What if she didn't approve of my actions and was afraid I may resort back to those ways? I'm ashamed of past 'me' as well, I'm so sure she would feel the same.

After I was awakened from the coma, I had trouble remembering exactly what happened. But within a few weeks, my full memory came back to me, and I hated it. I hated knowing what I did. At first, I began blaming other people, like Kyleigh, Jessica, my teammates on the basketball team, everyone but myself. But I realized that they are not at fault here, I'm the one fully responsible for my actions. I'm the one who made the choices that night.

*Flashback*

"Nice party!" I shouted over to one of my teammates, Aaron, as he stood next to me. Aaron was going to be a Senior high school this coming school year and he was the team captain of the Varsity team. The music was bumping so loud it was hard to hear each other. He was the host of the party and was finally glad to see me attend one of them. He always hosts most of the parties, inviting only the Junior Varisty and Varsity basketball teams and the cheerleading squad. But of course, people brought plus ones, and twos, and threes, and soon enough, the party is beyond huge.