First // c.c.

Chapter 28: Jase

Jase' POV

Camila and Lauren had just walked onto their plane about 5 minutes ago. Veronica and I chose to drive them to their airport to catch their flight. The next time I would most likely see her again would be when the girls come here for Cher Lloyd's tour which was about a month from now or so. As much as I wanted to kiss her right then and there before she left to go on her plane, we were trying to cautious about being seen. Lauren and Camila had to hurry on the plane in case any fans spotted them, so it was a quick see you later.

Vee and I already had our tickets to go on September 22nd for the Cher Lloyd concert, so that's what I was going to look forward to. We waited by their gate, watching out the window and saw their plane was still there. They did take a while before they took off.

I looked out the window and just thought a lot about the day yesterday. I allowed myself to let my guard down and become so vulnerable in front of Camila. I put all of my trust in her and as much as that used to scare me, I believe that she'll take good care of my trust. Like I said, she made me feel less cynical about love.

I finally got what I needed off my chest and I finally spoke to Veronica and Kyleigh about it. Now I just need to tell Jerick, Kaylie, and Jake about it. Even though I already told Vee and Kyleigh, I still felt so nervous about telling my other siblings. I rubbed my hands together in anxiety as I felt a hand on my shoulder.

It was my twin sister who sat on the chair right next to me. "I'm glad you opened up," she smiled at me. When I talked to her and Kyleigh yesterday, it got really emotional. She was confused at first, at the fact that I didn't tell her, but then she understood my fear of being judged. She made sure that she didn't look at me differently at all, but she was glad I finally told her the truth.

"And I'm sure they'll understand too," she added on, referring to the rest of our siblings. I sighed deeply and looked out the window seeing their plane was moving now. "I really hope so," I confessed as I leaned my head down on my sister's shoulder. She too leaned on my head as we waited for their plane to finally take off.

Just then, as the plane was turning onto the runway, I got a text.

Text to Jase
From Camila

don't be afraid okay? you'll be fine. and if anything, i'm just a phone call away (:

She has such impeccable timing with her words and her showing up when I needed her. I was in love with her. I can't believe I admitted that to myself already. I mean, being a fan of the girls since the x factor and saying I loved them was completely different from this love. I wanted to be with her. I wanted her to be my girlfriend. God I don't even know. She made me so flustered and out of words, it was an amazing feeling.

Text to Camila
From Jase

thank you beautiful. i'll call you tomorrow whenever youre free. good luck with your mom (;

And while a few minutes passed, their plane took off. It was getting a bit easier, saying bye to her and not being with her everyday. But today I felt a bit more empty because yesterday was such a huge step I took in opening up to her. I just wish things were different sometimes.

Veronica and I got up right when we saw their plane had left and headed back home. Veronica offered to drive back home, so I let her. I stared out the window as the music from my iPod filled the car. As if my iPod knew how I was feeling, Mariah Carey's song "Bye, Bye' shuffled on.

How scary was it that this song related to me so much right now. For 2 years, I have not forgiven myself for my parents deaths. For 2 whole years, I kept telling myself that I was the one who killed them. For 2 years, I never really wanted to let go of them. I haven't said my goodbyes to them because this whole time, I kept trying to apologize to them first. The guilt lingered in me for 2 years that, I never really had the time to say goodbye.