First // c.c.

Chapter 13: Jase

Jase's POV

 Stupid, stupid, stupid was all I thought to myself. I walked down the driveway and turned left taking the sidewalk's path down my neighborhood. Why the hell did I do that? How was she supposed to know they passed away?! It's not something she should know.

I acted so rude to her for no reason. The anger I held towards myself broke out and I took it out on her. Leaving the room so suddenly was probably the best thing. I wouldn't want her to the other side of me. This guilt is eating me on the inside. I've kept it inside me for so long that I never realized how bad it is turning me out to be.

But I can't tell them what really happened. I can't tell them the truth. I'd be such a disappointment. I already am to myself, I'd hate for my siblings to see me that way too. Damnit, I hate feeling this way!

I stopped in my tracks, noticing that I already walked two blocks from my house. I decided to just take a seat on the edge of the sidewalk. I honestly just needed to get out of there. If I stayed in there, who knows what else I would've said to Camila. 

It was almost 7pm, but the sun was barely setting. That's actually what I enjoyed about summer. The days are longer than the nights. But what sucked was that we start school next Monday. Since it's Friday today, that means only 2 more days of complete freedom.

And most likely, 2 more days of seeing Camila. She's leaving on Sunday. A huge part of me wants her to stay, but obviously that's not going to happen. I keep forgetting the main thing here, that she is the celebrity and I'm just a fan. After this, nothing else is going to go on between us. The girls probably just agreed that, 'Hey since this boy was incredibly nice to give us food and to give Camila her first kiss, why don't we do something for them to show our thanks?' 

All of this is so hard to believe, and as much as I believe the girls seemed genuinely happy to hang out with us, part of me thinks that their manager or something forced them to hang out with us, so we could get the word out about them and all that. I hate thinking that, because I feel like we could actually be real close friends or something. Whatever, I'm just a fan, I need to keep that in mind.

I should just cherish the moment now, and be happy that I actually can talk with them in person. I should cherish the oppurtunity I have with Camila as well. What I did back there was a waste of time, I shouldn't have let my guilt get to me like that. 

The sound of footsteps were heard, but I didn't really pay much attention to it. I normally knew that some peopl walked their dogs around this time, especially if the sun is just about to set. "Jason!" I heard someone call out, and I abruptly looked up to see who that was. Although, I had a feeling already.

Of course, the 5 foot 4 figure came stomping down the sidewalk, catching up to my destination. "Veronica, look I already feel like shit please don't lecture me on what I did wrong because I know what I did," I spoke up, ashamed of myself for her.

Her navy blue vans came into sight, and sat right down next to me. "I'm not going to lecture you on anything," she replied to me, "Who do you think I am? Jerick?"

I gave her a look, basically saying that even though she wasn't Jerick, she was still going to talk to me about something.

She sighed and shook her head, "Okay well I'm not Jerick, but yes I am going to lecture you. What the hell just happened back there?" She gestured in the direction of our house.

I leaned on my hands with my elbows resting on my knees, "I just lost my cool okay."

"Yeah, and you were a dick to Camila," she brought up, sounding very disappointed in me. Man, if she's disappointed in me for this, then I definitely can't tell her what's been bothering me.