total drama dumbasses

the sleepover pt1 | chapter fifteen

total drama fuckers

cody: "i told my friends to get here at 5pm, let's see what time they arrive"

cody: "except for noah cos he got here at 3pm"

duncan: ????

gwen: what??????

courtney: i literally dont have three hours to waste to get to a sleepover 2 hours early

noah: you never know when sierra is gonna pop up

justin: look at the lovebirds

trent: i think its time for a song

justin: NO keep driving idiot

trent: oh 

gwen: btw i checked with leshawna beth and lindsay, theyre all coming too, as well as harold tyler and the other guys 

heather: BOYS AND GIRLS SLEEP IN SEPARATE ROOMS BY THE WAY

heather: there will be no mingling and headboard banging and breaking the bed

duncan: the gay couples look at each other knowing they will mingle, headboard bang and break the bed

cody: DUNCAN SHUT UP

duncan: how did you know i was talking about you hmmm

noah: it was implied

duncan: i couldve been talking about trent and justin

justin: WHAT

trent: WHAT

justin: WE ARE NOT A GAY COUPLE FYM

gwen: sure sure

///

CODY

I looked at the clock. It was 5:05pm. I guess I shouldn't expect my friends to get here at exactly five on the dot. They're all gonna take forever, especially Heather, and knowing her she'll bring an entire suitcase with leopard print and five makeup bags. 

At least Noah was here to keep me company, even though it was really awkward. Better than sitting in the house by myself because Sierra could pop up when I'm unconscious and give me a hug and a kiss without my consent. 

I don't think she knows what consent IS. 

"Stop getting all jittery," Noah drawled. He was making himself at home on my couch, been scrolling for the last five hours on Instagram and not trying to interact with people at all, although I was fairly sure he would jump up, grab a broom and stab Sierra with a blunt end if it really reached that point of desperation. "It's just a sleepover."

I shuddered. "Whenever you say the word 'sleepover' it reminds me that we, a group of twenty one year olds, are having a sleepover. Like children." Nervously, I opened a pack of gummy bears and threw one into my mouth and successfully failed. Noah snorted (very un-Noah like of him).

"Wasn't my idea," he said, shrugging, and looked back down at his phone, ignoring me once again, which was quite annoying if I'm being honest, considering he was in MY house. Just then the doorbell rang. When I went to answer it, standing on the threshold was Gwen. 

If you ever watched the show, you'll know I have a massive crush on Gwen. Like. Massive. And now I've gotten over it cause I'm bi and all that but she still looked really really good. 

Her deep blue hair got a bit more faded and it was close to a black but her lipstick stayed the same. She was wearing a cropped black shirt and long black leggings with white sneakers, and looking better than ever. She looked so much happier after Total Drama. 

"Hey Cody!" she said enthusiastically. I checked the time. 5:07. So she wasn't late. If anything, she was early. She peeked inside. "Am I early?"

"Yeah, only person who's here is Noah, and things have been quiet and the tension is like crazy in here," I replied. She smirked.

"Oh yeah, I can almost smell the sexual tension between you two," she said, grinning wildly just as Trent and Justin pulled up in the car behind her. 5:08. 

They're definitely dating, is all I could think. 

"We aren't dating," Trent objected before I could even open my mouth, although his cheeks were positively a deep shade of scarlet. "Justin just can't drive. Even though he's 21." He glared at his maybe boyfriend.

"It's true," Justin said, jabbing a finger into the air. "I can't damage any of this delicious beauty on my fingers." Justin dropped his bags and shoved his fingers into my face. I stumbled backwards.

"That's not the way I would describe them but okay," I said and Justin looked at me, pride in his face, before Trent shoved his way past me with a guitar. 

Next to arrive was Courtney and Duncan, who, surprisingly, rode in the same car, clearly they got back together. They argued the whole way there and I didn't even stop to say hi. Courtney was threatening legal action. Duncan was threatening committing arson. Most toxic yet most popular ship. 5:12.

Beth showed up and she had a MASSIVE glow up. Except Beth was never my type and she never will be either. She grinned a straight toothed smile at me and waltzed right in, which was funny because I've barely ever talked to Beth in my entire life, I wonder who invited her because it definitely wasn't me. 5:18.

At least we didn't invite Katie or Sadie because they spend so much time on their nails the entire house would have a stench and everyone would have cancer.

Noah walked up to me and said, "Can we please start this already, Duncan will literally set your house on fire, and everyone's arguing over stupid things." 

"Just distract him or something," I said and slammed the door loudly to attract attention. Even though I was quite frankly the shortest, I yelled, "Duncan if you set my house on fire the last thing you will see is a handkerchief."

"A handkerwhat," I heard Gwen say before the door was knocked on. 

Lindsay and Tyler were on the doorstep, I really didn't want Tyler to come because he's always getting into some sort of trouble, which ends in an injury, and one of us are responsible and this sleepover turns into a chase for criminals. And then one of us gets broke for paying to spend a night in the hospital with the injured person, most likely Tyler. 

The man's been in hospital more times than I've been laid.

"You could've just rang the doorbell," I said bluntly, not that I wasn't happy to see them. Lindsay waved. "Hi Connor! Soooo happy to be here!" 

"Connor," Noah said, looking at me fondly and pulled them inside but not before Tyler tripped on the step and landed on his face. He didn't break anything, so that was good, I guess. 

DJ arrived in his mother's car, at 5:26, then Leshawna at 5:27 with Harold, Bridgette and Geoff at 5:40 on the dot, Alejandro at 5:44 then Heather at the latest, 6:04. I wouldn't have expected otherwise.

Closing the door after Heather lugged her huge suitcase inside, I stood by the doorway and looked into the room where everyone appeared to be having a brawl and arguing about whether or not the earth was flat. It was Courtney against the entire group.

Well, I guess that's everyone.

a/n:

woahh yay

cody sounds really depressed im sorry im used to writing in noahs pov