total drama dumbasses

the sleepover pt3| chapter seventeen

HEATHER

I looked at Cody. He looked like an absolute idiot, but to be fair, everyone here was an idiot except for me. 

Alejandro, the absolute ugliest asshole I ever met, had a horrible idea, as he usually did. He went down to the kitchen and got cooking utensils. I mean, if we were cooking Sierra in a stew then it would be useful but we're not, unless I got that wrong.

"I'm not fighting anyone," I said. Everyone groaned in frustration. "What? I just got my nails done, and they're expensive. I'm not risking losing a nail."

Gwen, who always seemed to find a way to one up me, stood up and said something stupid in her nasally voice. "Heather, would you stop being a bitch and hurry up and do something for a friend for once?"

Leshawna nodded in agreement. "Mhm. Sorry to break it to you hunny bun but the world doesn't revolve around you. Get used to it." 

"I never said it did," I spat, "and is this situation really that serious? Sierra was fine throughout the entire show, and I don't see why we need these weapons or whatever-"

"Heather," Cody said sharply, "I love you and all that because you're like a sister to me, but Gwen and Leshawna have a point. Please stop being such an asshole and pick up something, the situation really is that dire." He shuddered. "She could attack me, you, any of us."

Duncan cracked his knuckles. "We'll see about that. Cody, we've barely ever talked, but I would definitely win a fight against her. Can't believe I got voted out before her."

Cody shook his head. "You haven't seen the ugly ways she manipulates and gaslights and the heights she would go for me." He shrugged. "In other ways I would be flattered but not exactly." Noah cocked an eyebrow, obviously suspecting something.

I rolled my eyes and picked up a fucking spoon. "This is gonna be useful for when I want to give Sierra a splinter." 

"You were last to pick," Noah said dryly. 

I crossed my arms. "So what do we do? Because I'm not gonna stand around all night. I need to sleep and shower and do my skincare."

"Same," Justin said sadly, looking at the ground. He should take off that stupid purple scarf, it could choke him, but at the same time, why would I care? 

But I do. Don't. I mean don't. I couldn't possibly care for these losers.

We all stood there awkwardly for about three minutes before Courtney interrupted the silence. "This is stupid. All of us, standing here, clearly armed with kitchen utensils. Wait, what if I-" She put her pots to her feet and started clanging them. Courtney is a sweetheart, but god, is she annoying sometimes. 

"Get those stupid pots off your calves or I will literally bash you on the head and deal with whatever your boyfriend has to say to me," Noah said. 

"He's not my-" Courtney began.

"Whatever," Alejandro said. "Like Heather said, this is getting boring. Can't we like, use Cody as bait or something? I mean, she's not gonna notice that we were plotting something."

"Are you crazy?" Noah blurted out. "Using Cody as bait? He's a human, not some playtoy."

"Your playtoy," I coughed. Noah gave me a massive stink eye. "No. I'm just having some decency because I'm sure Cody doesn't want to be used like bait. We're here to help him, not to throw him into the fucking wild with Sierra." 

"I'll do it," Cody said quietly.

"You cannot be fucking serious," Noah said in an even tone, like he was trying to contain himself. Noah is built like a rectangle but I respect him and his love for Cody. They're not dating yet but it's so obvious I'll shit myself. I'll bet my entire million dollars on it. 

"It's not that bad," Cody said, shrugging. "It'll be fine as long as I'm alone with her. She won't hurt me."

Gwen sighed. "She could, Cody. She's not in her right mind. She's mentally insane."

"I swear to God if she fucking r-" Noah began.

"I'll be fine," Cody said, but I could tell something was wrong. Noah looked at me worriedly and mouthed something but I couldn't tell what it was so I mouthed back "Uh duh". 

He dropped whatever he was holding (a pan, okay Rapunzel) and walked outside. We all sat inside, waiting for what's going to happen next when we heard a happy giggle and the brush of purple hair beyond the doors to the living room. 

"Codykins!" 

a/n:

god im so tired

dont come at me for this ik its weirdly dramatic

also, almost 700 views total?? girl i started this like 20 days ago or sumn

leave comments <3 i love reading them all unless ur saying something like "ill break ur lego house" if you say that youre fucking blocked