Money Is All I Want

Chapter 44

Arielle: (I wish I could say NO)

Flynn: You know that you can trust me, right, hey look here, (cups her cheek and turns her head towards him)

I'm here, for you.

Arielle: Mr. Flintoff, I -I (tears start falling) I don't think I deserve this, you, this position, this company, caring people.

Flynn: and why is that. (says without judging what she said) 

Arielle: I had one presentation to give to save my company, I messed up, I was almost broken when We got merged which again I don't think I have done enough to be here. You for some reason find interest in me, ME, A whole unutil of a person. I feel I am undeserving of this, of everything infact. AND, I have one ambition, just one over everything, Money, And I won't be lying a bit, when I say that I'd prefer it almost over everything. You know I used to wonder that I like you, Is it because that You are successful and I wanna be as successful as you, Is it because you are so damn Fanciable, I don't know, but mostly I used to think that Maybe I like you because you are rich, It isn't an established statement and I am very very scared If that's what I am, if that's why I like you, and if I've been so low to an extent where I am loving people because of money. (tears falling). I don't even care if you hate me now, because if This is Me. I'm sorry, I hate myself more than anyone else. 

Flynn: Arielle! (wipes her tears) shhhh, I know where you are. 

Arielle: noooo, I'm sorry, for ruining your life with my presence, In fact I'm sorry for anyone who's life has been a bad experience because of me, what a Stupid person am I.

Flynn: (places his hand under her chin to lift it up a bit) here, listen to me. What if you love me for Money?

 a brief moment of silence between them

Arielle: (gasps) (turns her face in the other direction) I- I uh I don't deserve your love then.

Flynn: Who said that. (stands from his seat beside her and sits on the ground in front of her) 

Arielle: (shuts her eyes in grief) I don't know.

Flynn: hey hey. (places a hand on the top of her hand) Arielle, I don't care if you love me for my money, for my fanciable looks or my company or my messed up coffee routine. (he chuckles) 

Arielle: what are you saying-

Flynn: would you still love me if I were poor? 

Arielle: (pauses) Maybe, I'm not sure, and that's where I feel I'm not a good person-

Flynn: right, would you still love me if I lose all my money, every single penny, My Douglas(chuckles) and my company, everything pricey, just lost.

Arielle: YES. (says without hesitation and then pauses on her promt attempt)(tears falling)

Flynn: (fidgets his thumb over her hand) why is that Arielle? 

Arielle: I love you Mr. Flintoff, I thought it was just a crush all this time, it should've gone away by now 'IF' it was a crush. I have this pounding heart whenever I see you, I almost feel like passing out when I hear your voice and you're not near, I feel like running away from everything else to you. Sometimes I feel like I am overly curious about your life, Like I wanna be in every lil part of your life. And the stupidest part of all this is, I knew this all along and it was never my plan to confess my feelings ever, NEVER EVER, because there are like millions of others who feel the same way about you, maybe they might love you more than me, maybe they are a better choice for you, maybe they are more talented than me, and maybe you can have a better life with them, even when I hear myself saying All this, I myself would never say that I'm the best choice for you, because deep down I know that I'm not. It's so weird that I opened My heart in front of you, this is all I feel. There might be a lot others but, from my life's pov, You, I-I love you. More than anything else. I know people say that there's no reason to fall in love with someone. But I think I know quite a few of them. I always liked you, like way back from school. But, You know Mr. Flintoff, all my life I've been struggling to establish my worth, even if it's something smaller than a pea, but I've trying to water it and make it grow since I was kid. My SELF ESTEEM. And you, lil piece of wizardly elegant Prince material. I was so moved when you praised me for that presentation in front of Dan. Not that he wanted to hurt me the other day when he said that I earn just enough to but a coffee for myself, but I saw that look in your eye. And not just once, it's the thing in your eyes, when you look at me, everytime. That look where you convey that I am as important as you, that I'm as fanciable as you, which is not true btw(chuckles). But that's what I fell for. I've seen people manipulative in love, Possessive and what not. I saw you being a Wiser person. You present me opportunities, you give me an equal part of say in every opinion. I don't know about that Elite business Congregation, I could never go there, but you somehow knew how happy I'd be to be there. In fact we had a lil quarrel the other day. I'm so sorry, I have no control over what I speak. Not that I'm apologizing for what I said. But then again, I make no sense, do I? I have a very strong feeling that when I die, if people would ever think of me,Not like they'll remember me, IF in a moment when their mind would have nothing else to think of, and they'd remember me, they'd think of me only as a neglectful and annoying person. Nevermind. 

Flynn: (wipes her tears) It's okay. I'll tell you what. You said You'd love me If I lose every single penny. But you are not sure that if You'd love me if I were not this rich. (Caresses her hair) You are underestimating yourself. Especially when you say that you don't deserve this. I don't deserve this, all this in the first place. I was never meant to have all this. I haven't done a single thing to earn this, this is all my father's. But should I leave it then, is that what my father wanted? Not like I'm doing this for him, but once wasted, I'm only good enough to do this. This company is all I have. The only good memory my father Gave me. You know I Never mentioned him as my father earlier.

Arielle: I remember.(nods in approval)

Flynn: I had a chat with my mom in the hospital about him, we were talking about my miserable moments with him. And she still gave such a beautifully demented turn to our conversation. She gave me his pov. Where assumingly he had a nice intention about his life decisions about me. I didn't agree to her at all. But it kicked my mind later. I didn't forgive him, it is a lot more difficult thing for me to do. But I think I will try to release the pain towards him, atleast for myself. Isn't she crazy? My mom, why does she have to think good about the person who ruined her life. I really can't beleive her sometimes. 

Arielle: I'm happy for you. Believe me, you'll be a lot better now. 

Flynn: YES, because, I'm with you. About the thing that you said earlier. You are only thinking about the opposite lane, about where it's going when you are supposed to look forward, on your side of lane. You know what is the worst part, it's only confusion until the distress rolls out. You might even get hit on the road this way. UH I'm too bad at explaining. 

Arielle: +1(smiles)

Flynn: (nods) OK, We can never find out what would happen if I was born Poor, If you love me for Money or my soul. But the fact that I have you and you have me is still the same. We are here for each other. And if we waste our lives wondering about whatifs, we'd never get to live our lives, with each other. I'll tell you what I feel. I know for sure that I don't deserve this position, but I focussed on the opportunity, I can't be fighting over how I got it, It's pretty simple that I wanted it and got it somehow, maybe god's plan. So, I try my best to do my best to do justice to my position. No matter what the Media says, No matter what a random Tweet says. It is freaking My Life and I decide what to do with it. And I don't care if you love me for money, if that's what you've been wondering all this while. I know that People believe that Love is Priceless, but I always feel that there's some kind of a trade, Always. (Arielle Winces) I mean, you have to lose something for love, be it themselves, Materialistic things, family, friends, some poeple even lose their respect in the worst cases, my Mom lost her mental peace for that matters. Like I said, she loved him, MY DAD. But that's what she got in love, it wasn't all good, was it? Anyways, I mean that there's always a price to get something, we assume it to be noncommercial  always. I don't mind anyway. It's love what I'm trading for. Also I'd give away My soul for your Love, let alone my Money-

Arielle: stop-(tears falling) (Places a finger on his lips to stop his from speaking) Why would you say that? (pauses) Even after knowing that I might love you for Money? 

Flynn: Don't you judge my deifintion of Love! For a person like me, who has craved all his life for even a slightest moment of love, I'd Pay anything for it. Love is a pure connection of Two Souls,Arielle. I'd be greedy if I say I want more than that, more than your love, I'm no one to judge you, no one to expect you to be the Perfect person, no Weaknesses, no Red Flags. We are all Humans,and we all have our own ways of living. And don't get me wrong, but I always wonder that everyone has a lil glimpse of god in them. That Every other Person might be a shadow of him. Just like Julie Delpy says in 'Before' that god is Between the space of two souls, somewhere between the Air. I feel it's within us. And when I see you, I see his Purest and most Innocent shadow in You, A serene river I'd say with beautiful tides of joy and sweet tantrums. But this is only an estimation that I could make hardly. There's also a part where I have never been able to see you the way I see others. The way I try to find God in others, I was never able to find it in you. I mean leaving alone all the other thoughts, even in my most platonic thoughts about you, You were just as Human as Me. Your were just mine. Even before we started knowing each other when I came here. You could also term it as 'love at first Sight', I don't mind that. I'm Loving you from that day. (narrows his eyes) 

Arielle: (faces towards the sky) I'll be damned. We're so Messed up in Love.